Marriage...I need some perspective here (serious thread here)

[acotts]

closing this one down.

[cny rider]

You have a lot to sort out.
Go to a counselor or confidant who can help you do that.
Don't make her suffer through the process with you.

[acotts]

...yeah. you are right.

[Too Tall]

More than one love in an lifetime is beyond amazing. Helps?

I'll give you the advice my Bohemian mom gave me when I told her we were getting married "there is only one reason for marriage, children".

I proposed on two knees three weeks after we met because of love at first sight. Mom was wrong, there are two reasons.

[Dave]

You could...you might even suggest she go to one with you. I have had friends that did this as they weren't sure about marriage and some foundout they had such similiar feelings it made them even closer, some the opposite.

It does sound weird, but many faiths put you through these types fo tings before they will marry you. She might feel the same way and be playing along like you are. i am no expert. I got married for the wrong reasons and it failed. I met a girl, was a bit gun shy as she too had a previous marriage. We ended up in a type of love that nuclear weapons wouldn't destroy.

I would imagine therecould be some lingering issues with your previous engagement not working. I know it sounds trite, but maybe you don't need to marry someone especially "E" to have the life you both want.

Couples and marriage evolve in what they mean and how they are defined now a days. No reason to enter into something you aren't sure about. I wished I had never experienced divorce, but I believed marriage was about love and there wasn't any no matter how hard I tried.

I think seeking loads of ideas and opinions is good, but remember to form your own. Making decisons with other's thoguths cancause some serious regret if it isn't how you truly feel.

[acotts]

Thanks folks. I think I may back off this thread now. My only bud I can talk to about this is off doing his GI Joe thing, defending America and stuff. Its been bottling up and adding stress to an already stressful lifestyle (full time work-school).

I think seeing a pro might really help and I owe to E to figure some of this out without dragger her through it.