Marriage

[roseyscot]

oh yeah, if there are a number of cyclists coming, schedule a groom's ride the morning of the wedding. we got married at my in-law's in Montana and a lot of my friends and family that traveled for the wedding were floored by the great, but casual road ride we did the morning of. took some planning to round up enough bikes for the out of towners but it was totally worth it and helped put me in a great mood for the day.

[Badonkadonk]

just stay cool, suck it all up and it will be fine. write some beautiful heartfelt shit down for your vows. as long as there is alcohol and good music at the right times, it's going to be a blast

and if you think this shit is stressful, wait til you see what else this motherfucker called life has in store for you - this is the fun part so fucking party the shit out of your wedding. and congrats!

[Jaq]

Sounds like you're doing just fine. For me, post-marriage success was the same as pre-marriage success: smile and nod. We also have a hard, fast rule: I make all the big decisions, and she makes all the little ones. So far, oddly enough, there haven't been any big decisions...

I've been fortunate enough with friendships to be in a few wedding parties; I've gotten all sorts of nice gifts and genuinely cherish them all. Of them all, however, the one I absolutely love is a small hip flask. It's a 4 oz flask, about 4 inches long x 3 inches wide, and I'm assuming sterling silver, though it might be plate; we were poor kids then. I've used it for everything from schnapps on a ski-lift and extra whiskey to stiffen a thin Irish coffee, to a friendly pass-around at the BBQ/camp fire. Post 9-11, I still carry it onto flights; I don't mind having to take a sip or two in the TSA line.

[billrick]

You are on track for a great wedding. My one suggestion is to never post comments about your wife's irrational behavior or emotional crying jags on a public cycling forum where the mods have deactivated the edit function.

Edit: Not that it matters for me, since my beautiful wife is the model of rational behavior. And she never checks my posts here because all we talk about is cycling. Love you, babe!

[the bottle ride]

I read these threads on marriage and I am comforted that I may die a lonely man- what happens to the sweet girls we love when marriage plans start to happen?

[dgaddis]

Don't skimp on video. Photos are great, but video is live, moving, there's sound. Just getting video footage of older family members dancing and having a good time is really special one day when they're gone.

[MDEnvEngr]

Your new wife will be about a million times easier to live with than your fiancee has been for the last few months.

They put a lot of pressure on themselves for that particular day. When it's over, there will be a new normal.

[Bret]

As a divorced guy, I do have a bit of advice for you...or any couple moving forward into that realm...please don't forget that it's the BEGINNING of your lives together. There is still work to do on your relationship...keep listening, keep talking, keep doing whatever it is that brought you together. I know more than just my marriage has suffered from a misplaced feeling of "ah...now we're done" kind of coasting after the honeymoon period wore off...with tragic results.

I learned a lot from the failure of that marriage and I'm very much a better man for it. I try to always think of my current relationship as a Team...and do what's best for the Team, therefore what's best for me and what's best for her...but the Team comes first. As my current girlfriend has bought into this thought process as well, we rarely have any kind of power struggle to our relationship.

Good luck and one last piece of advice for both of you on the wedding day itself: remember to stop every few minutes and look around, take it all in, enjoy all those people who have come together to support you and share in that awesome day. it will fly by and be over before you know it.

Cheers!

[BShow]

I'm getting married in two and half weeks. These last few months have had quite a few very short moments of hell. Last week she was almost in tears telling me...

You think this is bad, just wait until she's preggers...

My "bachelor party" consisted of a bunch of friends going to a local beer joint - that I've taken my wife to - hangin out having a good time over some brews. Her brother, her father and my father were all there. No strippers. She was very happy about the bachelor party. It was ridiculous and frustrating and All I kept saying is that I have nothing to do with it.

The fact that your friends are even bringing it up to her is pretty messed up. They must be either really stupid or just trying to get you in trouble.

a good gift. hmmm... my brother gave out a multi-tool and some beer paraphernalia - that wasnt bad. I don't remember what my other brother gave, so it musta been pretty weak. Just make sure whatever you get them is quality. doesn't have to break the bank, but if the gift is gonna break, then whats the point?

[BShow]

Good luck and one last piece of advice for both of you on the wedding day itself: remember to stop every few minutes and look around, take it all in, enjoy all those people who have come together to support you and share in that awesome day. it will fly by and be over before you know it. Cheers!

I received this advice, made a mental note to do exactly this; and I still didn't do it. I don't think this advice will make any sense until after the fact.

[fmbp]

I second the points made above about the importance of pictures. In some ways, the pictures are for you, but in many others, they're for the family who like to reminisce, or the loved ones/friends/future children who aren't able to be there. Same with the video.

I also second the point about a pre-wedding ride if you've got enough people who are cyclists. I did the same with my dad and a few of my groomsmen - it was great. My wife still doesn't know that my dad inadvertently almost crashed me on that ride . . . that would'a been bad. Don't crash your bike right before the wedding.

My groomsmen gifts were individualized to each person - but I spent roughly the same amount of $. That seemed to work. I've certainly received some odd ones in the past that were sort of generic, and they've mostly just stayed in the box.

Most importantly, though, just enjoy the day. To me, it was a fantastic day because I knew that everyone was there because they were important to me or my wife. That's pretty cool. Also, as was said above, stuff will go wrong . . . and it's okay.

[BShow]

You are on track for a great wedding. My one suggestion is to never post comments about your wife's irrational behavior or emotional crying jags on a public cycling forum where the mods have deactivated the edit function...!

Sh!t.

[Chance Legstrong]

Lots of good feedback here which I definitely appreciate. Neither of us are big partiers either and I'm not sure what she has planned for hers. I know I am going to KC with a few buddies (10 tops). We are planning to lounge around at a water park for most of the day then go downtown for the night and stay in a decent suite. I don't know how we/she made so many friends as just over 100 have RSVP'd saying they would attend. I think she was expected 120. I was hoping for around 60 people.

One of the biggest $$$ things for us was the photographer because we wanted to have all of the photos. I'm very surprised at how much things cost and prices seem higher because they are wedding related. Do most of you still look at those photos down the road? Other than the few that are scattered around your house? I'm not a big fan of photos because I have a good memory and how an event happened is more important than what it looked like. I'm still stunned that someone can spend so much money on one evening of activities, but luckily her dad is using her college fund (untouched) as the wedding fund.

I think I will some multi-tools engraved with their names for the groomsmen. Maybe they will get some use out of them and if not it is somewhat personal at least.

Wait!
You're coming to KC??

[Jason Musgrave]

Groomsmen gifts: Put a Fenix LD01 in each of their pockets. Most useful tool I have ever owned, use my ever single day. It's small enough you don't know it's in your pocket, but puts out up to 80 lumens so it's got horsepower for an single AAA unit (widely considered the best of the AAA lights).

Edit: It's smaller than it looks in the pic.

[nebraskacycling]

So many good ideas and much good advice :) Yeah I'm flying into KC for the bachelor party before going back to Nebraska. That flashlight is tiny and looks awesome. I'm hoping I can find a bike to ride during that week. Most of the attendees are not cyclists, but a few are and I will probably try to organize a ride the day before for any that have their bikes in town.

[Britishbane]

Countdown to my wedding is at 4 weeks. We have yet to have too much drama...but I am under no delusion that it wont happen. I appreciate all the groomsmen gift ideas, as I was struggling to come up with something.

Good luck to the OP. Oh and where in VA are you?

[nebraskacycling]

Congrats and best of luck to you too! I'm in Falls Church/Alexandria, how about you?

[Britishbane]

Old Town Alexandria

[PJC]

marriage: super awesome highs, and devastatingly demoralizing lows. Rinse, repeat. It's never boring.