Well this should be fun: Just scheduled my first ever colonoscopy...

[Mabouya]

Going to do a split-prep, first part the night before, second part the morning of, then the fun starts a 1 PM.

They now use something called SUtab, not SUprep, so you take a bunch of tablets, not gallons of foul liquid.

Time to stock up on baby wipes...

https://www.sutab.com/HowtoPrep

[Saab2000]

It’s a big nothing. Don’t worry about it.

Don’t plan on making any decisions or doing any math like figuring out gratuity percentages for a day afterwards. Ask me how I know this. I asked a buddy to drive me to and from the appointment. He’s a fellow cyclist and I filled his gas tank and bought us lunch. My math ended up with me leaving like a $50 tip on a $40 lunch. Oh well! It was a good lunch and he’s a good friend. But trying to recreate the math left me thinking, WTF…?

Don’t worry about this procedure. It’s totally anticlimactic. Big nothing was my experience.

[Tom]

So the first time I hit the year marker I had it delayed because I was signed up for the 270 at the ADK 540 and told the scheduling secretary why I wanted to go a few weeks after the appointment she scheduled. We get to the hospital for a 9:30 procedure and I haven't had any coffee and I really like coffee and we find out one leg of street power is down so they aren't starting any procedures until they have two legs up and my caffeine headache is already rolling and it gets worse and worse until finally I get called to prep and then we wait to be rolled into the room and the surgeon turns out to be a bike rider. He found out why I scheduled it the way I did and starts asking me all about the event. Through a fog of head pain I try to answer and I see the anesthesiologist is getting a little impatient so I turn to her and say "Just. Knock. Me. Out." and that's the last thing I remember until I'm back in the recovery bay.

[guido]

I had my third one this month. The bowl prep has evolved over time. The first two were misery, this one wasn't that bad. I could even have black coffee 4 hours before the procedure so no headache! The 5 days of low residue diet is annoying if you live on whole grains and legumes... The anesthesia is efficient if disorienting afterwards. All in all it is far better than leaving something nasty undetected...

[Mabouya]

The 5 days of low residue diet is annoying if you live on whole grains and legumes...

I'm waiting for the instructions from my Drs to see what they have to say about this sort of thing. (5 days of low fiber, that is)

I'm a vegetarian and in general eat lots of fiber, so it may be interesting, if I have to cut way back on that in the days before the procedure, get all stopped up, then blow it out in the 24 hours before the colonoscopy. That would be ironic.

If their instructions do say to cut back on fiber for days before I will be sure to ask them how to prevent constipation...

[ides1056]

I was young for my first one: false positive but they go with it regardless. The tech was a biker chick with tattooed knuckles. When my wife picked me up she told her that I was as good looking inside as out. Was awake enough to watch the show on the television.

What has changed over the years is the cost. Holy smoke. Glad I don't have to pay.

[guido]

I'm waiting for the instructions from my Drs to see what they have to say about this sort of thing. (5 days of low fiber, that is)

I'm a vegetarian and in general eat lots of fiber, so it may be interesting, if I have to cut way back on that in the days before the procedure, get all stopped up, then blow it out in the 24 hours before the colonoscopy. That would be ironic.

If their instructions do say to cut back on fiber for days before I will be sure to ask them how to prevent constipation...

I'm mostly vegetarian too... As you suggest, one does get stopped up during the low residue phase, but they have you start the final clean our phase with a big dose of softener to get things moving again. Then it was the night before and the morning of the procedures for the final cleaning pass...

[Mark Walberg]

....she told her that I was as good looking inside as out.....

A good complement indeed !

[Rich S]

I had 4 prior to hitting 60, they're no big deal. Propofol is a wonderful drug.

[beeatnik]

One summer Sunday when I was 10, my mom bought a couple of pounds of carnitas and I proceeded to feast on about ten tacos. The next morning I had horrible stomach pain. The pain, stomach cramps I presume, was constant and I lay flat on my stomach pressing a fist into my abdomen during my waking hours. I likely slept for 2 hours the first 2 nights. My mom finally took me to my pediatrician. After I described my symptoms, the dr asked if there was anyone who could watch my 3 year old sister. My mom found a family friend in the waiting room and returned to the examining room after a couple of minutes. I kid not in relating that seconds after my mom walked in, the doc put on a glove and shoved a finger deep into my tuchus. It was unexpectedly violating yet not painful. I mean I was a kid who coughed yearly. Short story long, the doctor prescribed Metamucil and after 4 horrific days of drinking that stuff I was all better. I imagine my first colonoscopy will be less, um, invasive.

Oh, pork and hot weather continued to have a strange effect on me until my early 30s.

[bcm119]

......
If their instructions do say to cut back on fiber for days before I will be sure to ask them how to prevent constipation...

Shots of habanero hot sauce?

[ldamelio]

Having been on both ends of the scope, I can confirm that it's not a major life event as a couple of others have said. I had my first one completely awake by choice - I had been having some bleeding and wanted to watch the screen with my gastroenterologist. Turned out (thankfully) that it was nothing. I got off the table, farted a few times, and was operating down the hall 30 minutes later after a big lunch. It was 'squirmy' and moderately uncomfortable to have it awake, so not recommended. The next two were routine age related screenings with propofol; 10 seconds of euphoria going to sleep and about 30 seconds of euphoria waking up. Other than that, you will feel nothing. Best part is the huge Jersey diner breakfast afterwards (and a day off!). Pro nutrition tip: if your prep puts you on clear liquids the day before, there are a number pf amino acid drinks out there that allow you to keep your protein uptake up

[Peter Polack]

The fart after the colonoscopy is awesome! It's the only time in my life a woman said it was okay to let 'er rip.

Enjoy this little colonoscopy primer by Dave Barry.

[holliscx]

I had a barium enema once: from recollection the nurse inserted a white tube seemingly 6 feet long up my rectum and told me to resist the urge to go no 2. I think I was 15 or 18.

A catheter at a urologist clinic is worse.

[guido]

Shots of habanero hot sauce?

No red foods during the low residue phase. Alas...

[cny rider]

I had my first one last year.
My GI Doc said it was pretty irrelevant what I ate for the 5 days before as long as I did the full prep exactly as instructed.
And my colon was perfectly clean when he scoped me.
And yes propofol is a hell of a drug. I can see why folks get in trouble with that one.

[rwsaunders]

Great feeling when the Doc says that they’ll see you in 5 years.

[Jeffrey Borisch]

Downing the Suprep was not as bad as I feared.

Get it cold. Save a bubble tea straw to chug it with. Hold the straw as far back in your mouth as you can stand.

I was not prepared to sit on the toilet for 8 hours though. (legs falling asleep and cramping)

I thought it would be short and violent, but instead the effect was mild and quite tedious.

I figured once the chemical was cleared it would stop but it seemed if I kept hydrating as directed the issuance would continue without end.

If the second dose did the same thing there would be no way I could survive the Lyft ride.

I took the second dose as early as possible at 4am with the absolute minimum of additional hydration.

It worked out, but barely.

Like others said, most everything else about it is a non-event

[Dave Thompson]

Two things about colonoscopies. One is good, the Doc says yer a perfect asshole. Other not so good, the Doc’s assistant is a really pretty woman.

[Bob Ross]

5 days of low residue diet

I've been getting routine colonoscopies every 2-5 years since the late 1980s dure to a hereditary predisposition for colo-rectal cancer -- so I've been through >6 and <15 such procedures -- and not once has the supervising gastroenterologist suggested "5 days of low residue diet."

Or 5 days of anything, for that matter.

I've had four different GI docs over those ~30 years and they've all said one day of liquid-only diet, then do the prep, then come on down to the hospital for the fun part.

...

Wonder what I'm missing?