About 12 years ago my now ex-wife owned a very boujee bakery and coffee shop. We had a New Years Eve party where I was the bartender.. I was in my early 30’s and had just started drinking. We found a book at a thrift store called ‘Mixed Drinks According to your Astrological Sign’. When someone would come to the bar I would ask their sign then mix a drink accordingly. I was fairly new to booze so I hadn’t tried most of them-but a couple of sips out of 40-50 drinks later I was full on Robozooted! Yikes-I told my wife I would just ride home.. couple of things-I had pretty much only eaten a block of scallion cashew blue cheese, my house was 15 miles away with a 2.8 mile climb at 6%, and I did not have a bike. She left and I realized my lack of bike. I found one outside of the depot, very basic box store bike.. I started riding it—

January 1st at about 7:15 in the morning I woke up in a ditch half way up that hill covered ina blue cheese like coating of vomit. Finished the ride home realizing I had made a wonderful section and stolen a bike. My ex said, ‘I was wondering when you would get home.’