Internet friendship. Is it real?

[colker]

I made a friend on line who i call a brother. He is my twin spirit. BUT friendship requires presence... what memories do you have from an online friendship??? Letters? Threads shared on forums? Otoh i see instagram taking the idea of making friends on line into marketing strategy for business. What exactly are followers? Stalkers, cult members or clients?
I see we are reaching a saturation point. The never ending economic crisis expanding the distance between rich and poor, wealth and lack of health, education and opportunity.. made the internet toxic: it´s either political resentment or desperate self marketing.
How human is anything here? The internet is the true zombie apocalypse.

[Too Tall]

Actually the internet has been my path to finding a rich gathering of kindrid spirits. How the heck would I EVER have found other nut job bicycle riders who also own and camp in Airstreams or that this would lead to me making friends with a pro Motorcycle instructor...who rides bicycles.

The social media #splat is just that, an interesting way of casting your glorious net to a sea of people who may or may not become your acquaintances and perhaps friends.

Filter the wheat from the chaff my friends, it's our daily fair.

[cny rider]

I've been bike riding, hunting, and hanging out for the last 12 years with a pal I first met when he messaged me on the old Serotta forum because he saw me riding by one day.
And two weeks ago another great group of friends gathered together at my place and spent 3 days bike riding, talking, eating and enjoying each other's company because we all met through these cycling forums.

So yes, it's as real as it gets.

[deano]

VS and ATH are the only places I "hang out" online. I have seen evidence of community elsewhere, but social media is just down right bad. I think you're right that presence is part and parcel. One thing we've lost in the modern era is a real philosophical outlook on friendship. The ancient and medieval thinkers valued friendship and thought about it, how it's part of out nature. After the Enlightenment all we can talk about is the individual subject, it seems. Ahem, ok, all done geeking out, nothing to see here.

I like the Internet insofar as it has facilitated the face to face present connections... Looking at you, Big Man. And others, too; loved every real life Salonista I've met in the flesh.

PS, I think you're in Philly next time I'm in DC? That's the word from D. Hope to ride again soon.

JZ

[bigbill]

This place is an outlet for me. I've virtually known Flavio for well over a decade, I always read his comments and remind myself that he lives in a South American country. I enjoy the commentary because of that difference. I use FB to keep up with friends and family, but it doesn't provide the discourse that this and ATH forums do. If something questionable (in truth) is posted here, it will get called out pretty quickly, I enjoy that.

Now I have to get back to my essay on feminist history that's due today.

[jscottyk]

In my experience, my “real online friends” started at places that kinda predate today’s social media of FB and IG. This place, ATH, and some yahoo mail list that friends that go back to around ‘00. These examples places provided communities of common interests and resulting communications that seem much deeper than what is found in the social media that is now. So, for me the friendships are as real as any, but it’s getting more and more rare to start online.

[Bobonli]

It depends on how you define "friend" I suppose. Friend = someone you get together with at holidays and celebrate birthdays or Friend = someone you occasionally see in person but have regular remote/internet contact with?

I have been able to connect with people who have been amazingly friendly and gracious that I would have otherwise not known about because of V-salon and maybe two other places. I've had people offer to loan me bikes in other cities when traveling, meet to ride etc. I would define this as friendly behavior. I dont know that I could affix the "friend" label to someone without spending many hours together. I'm a bit of an introvert in person, so maybe I'm being too rigid with my definition. But certainly I would never have these contacts without the internet. And my internet footprint is relatively small and focused on niche areas (like this) where people tend to be well-informed, passionate and willing to help others enter the community.

[NorTX-Dave]

Excuse my ignorance....but what is "ATH?"

[PaMtbRider]

Excuse my ignorance....but what is "ATH?"

Across the hall, aka forums.thepaceline.net

[Clean39T]

I've met some great people here and across the hall - I consider them friends and have had fun meeting up when traveling around the country..

But there is something more special about developing real-life, see you more often type of relationships. And the more time I spend on the internet, the less time I'm out and about doing that sort of thing. I need to be better at finding a balance there. If I get in a wreck and need help locally, I can't exactly ask my online buds to lend a hand. And vice-versa.

So, I guess what I'm saying is - we need friends globally and locally. Both are enriching, but neither are perfect substitutes for the other.

[Matthew Strongin]

Actually the internet has been my path to finding a rich gathering of kindrid spirits. How the heck would I EVER have found other nut job bicycle riders who also own and camp in Airstreams or that this would lead to me making friends with a pro Motorcycle instructor...who rides bicycles.

The social media #splat is just that, an interesting way of casting your glorious net to a sea of people who may or may not become your acquaintances and perhaps friends.

Filter the wheat from the chaff my friends, it's our daily fair.

I'm with the Tall One. I haven't bothered to count, but I'm sure I've made at least a couple or few handfuls of friends from this place. They all started as internet chums and now they're people I know in real life, some of whom I see regularly and many of whom I don't see often enough. And there are at least another couple or few handfuls of you that I'd love to meet in real life if the opportunity ever presents itself.

That said, the rando you make Instagram jokes with is probably not a friend. The person you chat with regularly, one on one, and look forward to meeting in the flesh one day, probably so.

[jscottyk]

Excuse my ignorance....but what is "ATH?"

Across the hall, aka forums.thepaceline.net

A number of us here meet originally across the hall when it was the Serotta forums.

[kpomtb]

Ridden some really cool places with some pretty cool people from online friendships. Got acquainted with Nierman through the old forum at Dirt Rag magazine. A group of us from all over went and rode NW Arkansas the other year and had a great time. Ridden fat bikes in the snow in WI, rode some parts of the CDT around Silver City with others from that forum as well.

So I would say, yes they are real.

[ides1056]

I will supply my definition of friend, arrived at after many years and considerable thought:

a person who brings out the best in you.

I met Oswaldo Merchan several years ago when I picked him up in a driving rain and drove him and Adrian to Albany to their Warm Showers host. He told me I was the nicest person he'd ever met. But for fbook we'd have lost touch with each other afterward and I'd have been unable to follow him as he continues to ride around the world.