Get Your Grump on Thursdays - Was (What's chapping my @ss today?)

[VertigoCycles]

I've got a double! The lock mechanism on our two sliding glass doors reliably fails every 5-6 months when an undersized spring breaks and the latch no longer operates. So I went to Home Depot to replace it and found that they're not the least bit interested in enforcing their masking policy that's clearly visible at all entrances to the store. I'm a month or two out from building a new covered deck and shed...guess who's not getting a penny from that project.

[bigbill]

I'm wearing a 48 hour HRM to help determine why my HR is so low and why it is so hard to get it over 130 bpm in strenuous exercise. The nurse shaved part of my chest to stick the electrode on. I guess I should be thankful for that. My belly hair is almost grown back from the appendectomy in August.

[dashDustin]

USA Crits going down in a blaze of glory has put a legitimate damper on us securing sponsors for 2022.

[johnmdesigner]

After regrouting my entire bathtub area I find out that grout has a shelf life.
I fucking hate home improvements.

[dashDustin]

Getting this started early.

Checked the oldest into a behavioral hospital yesterday after discovering some...not good...stuff on Discord. Shocked? Scared? Confused as fuck? All seem fitting descriptors of how wifey, myself, boys' dad and his wife feel. Only time in 10yrs that both households have been in the same room without anger towards each other. I actually shook his hand and gave him a hug. Something different about seeing fathers crack.

7 - 10 days of intense therapy/ detox (no drugs involved...detoxing from the shit that is Discord), then we go from there.

I dig through the app often, and have been accused of invading privacy. And yet I still missed all of the things that we found yesterday.

Even as I type this, my mind is just fucking blown.

[72gmc]

Good luck, Dustin. I will hope for the best for you and both families.

[ides1056]

I had to look up Discord, and even then can't quite picture what you are going through.
I was going to vent about the line of questioning at SCOTUS today vis a vis New York's gun laws.
There might be an intersection here, along the lines of: what could go wrong?

[defspace]

Keep your head up, Dustin. I hope things start looking up soon.

[dashDustin]

Good luck, Dustin. I will hope for the best for you and both families.

Keep your head up, Dustin. I hope things start looking up soon.

Gracias, y'all.

I had to look up Discord, and even then can't quite picture what you are going through.
I was going to vent about the line of questioning at SCOTUS today vis a vis New York's gun laws.
There might be an intersection here, along the lines of: what could go wrong?

It popped onto my radar a number of years ago when news hit that a guy posted pictures of his murdered g/f on it, moments after killing her. At the time it was described, in that particular article, as sort of a chat area for gamers. I went and checked out our boys' phones, and sure enough, they had the app. I dug through and all seemed innocent. The boys and their cousins talking about Minecraft and Roblox. Apparently things went sideways in June-ish. It's all still very new to us, so we're still learning what's going on inside our boy's mind. The past 24hrs has been a hell of wild ride, though.

[ides1056]

Courage.

[dashDustin]

Not an awesome week, but oldest is out of the inpatient program and is now starting a 4wk outpatient deal. 8am - 4pm, 5 days a week. So that's good.

But what's chapping my ass?

The boys' step-mother gave their dad an ultimatum - 'me and my kids, or your kids. If you choose your kids, I will file for divorce, and request restraining order against you.'

He chose her, her kids, and the child they have together.

He wants nothing to do with oldest, stating "I can parent from afar." So he'll be giving up custody. The kid is 16, and has always been a mini version of his dad.

But wait, there's more.

The youngest, 14, was told that he will not be allowed to stay the night at their dad's house. Their dad is selling his 2yr old house (described as his 'dream house'), and when he moves, youngest will not be allowed over. When they do hang out, it'll be at a hotel. By 'they', I mean the youngest and his dad....oldest is not allowed.

We've had 50/50 custody since day 1. I don't know how the boys are going to handle this. I can't even wrap my head around the ultimatum and the choice...I need a word stronger than disappointed and shocked. Appalled? I don't know. I just can't imagine in a bajillion years giving up my kids.

I've gone through all of the communications the oldest had and believe with every fiber of my being that their step-mother is absolutely blowing it out proportion and manipulating their father. Because she tried to do it to us. At this point, it's moot. All that remains is making it legal.

[bigbill]

Not an awesome week, but oldest is out of the inpatient program and is now starting a 4wk outpatient deal. 8am - 4pm, 5 days a week. So that's good.

But what's chapping my ass?

The boys' step-mother gave their dad an ultimatum - 'me and my kids, or your kids. If you choose your kids, I will file for divorce, and request restraining order against you.'

He chose her, her kids, and the child they have together.

He wants nothing to do with oldest, stating "I can parent from afar." So he'll be giving up custody. The kid is 16, and has always been a mini version of his dad.

But wait, there's more.

The youngest, 14, was told that he will not be allowed to stay the night at their dad's house. Their dad is selling his 2yr old house (described as his 'dream house'), and when he moves, youngest will not be allowed over. When they do hang out, it'll be at a hotel. By 'they', I mean the youngest and his dad....oldest is not allowed.

We've had 50/50 custody since day 1. I don't know how the boys are going to handle this. I can't even wrap my head around the ultimatum and the choice...I need a word stronger than disappointed and shocked. Appalled? I don't know. I just can't imagine in a bajillion years giving up my kids.

I've gone through all of the communications the oldest had and believe with every fiber of my being that their step-mother is absolutely blowing it out proportion and manipulating their father. Because she tried to do it to us. At this point, it's moot. All that remains is making it legal.

Adopt them and be the dad every kid deserves. My wife and I split when our son graduated high school and headed off to college. I tried to get along but it got ugly to the point I had to block her. Now she has alienated our son to the point that he wants nothing to do with her. I remarried over the summer to a wonderful woman who is two years younger than me and never had kids. She is a good mom to my son, even if he is 22, living at the Naval Academy, and she only sees him a few times a year. He'll be here for Thanksgiving.

[j44ke]

Adopt them and be the dad every kid deserves. My wife and I split when our son graduated high school and headed off to college. I tried to get along but it got ugly to the point I had to block her. Now she has alienated our son to the point that he wants nothing to do with her. I remarried over the summer to a wonderful woman who is two years younger than me and never had kids. She is a good mom to my son, even if he is 22, living at the Naval Academy, and she only sees him a few times a year. He'll be here for Thanksgiving.

Amen. Take the advantages that the custody changes give you. I know you've already been very involved, but you can be a lot for those two kids.

[bironi]

Last minute Thursday evening PST grump.
My wife suffers from psoriasis.
It has migrated over the last 10+ years.
It is now on her scalp and hairline.
I wish I could offer some treatment.
This is where the web offers no help.
It's all recycled crap.
There is no real guidance out there.
It's all try this try that, side effects...
Just had to let the rant fly.

I know there are so many undiagnosed diseases out there and without real treatment.
Damn I just wish it were different.

[ides1056]

Not an awesome week, but oldest is out of the inpatient program and is now starting a 4wk outpatient deal. 8am - 4pm, 5 days a week. So that's good.

But what's chapping my ass?

The boys' step-mother gave their dad an ultimatum - 'me and my kids, or your kids. If you choose your kids, I will file for divorce, and request restraining order against you.'

He chose her, her kids, and the child they have together.

He wants nothing to do with oldest, stating "I can parent from afar." So he'll be giving up custody. The kid is 16, and has always been a mini version of his dad.

But wait, there's more.

The youngest, 14, was told that he will not be allowed to stay the night at their dad's house. Their dad is selling his 2yr old house (described as his 'dream house'), and when he moves, youngest will not be allowed over. When they do hang out, it'll be at a hotel. By 'they', I mean the youngest and his dad....oldest is not allowed.

We've had 50/50 custody since day 1. I don't know how the boys are going to handle this. I can't even wrap my head around the ultimatum and the choice...I need a word stronger than disappointed and shocked. Appalled? I don't know. I just can't imagine in a bajillion years giving up my kids.

I've gone through all of the communications the oldest had and believe with every fiber of my being that their step-mother is absolutely blowing it out proportion and manipulating their father. Because she tried to do it to us. At this point, it's moot. All that remains is making it legal.

This is making me cry. Fuck me.

When my daughter arrived, and I mean the nanosecond she arrived all blue and blinking and covered in goo, I had an epiphany: that kids are built to thrive and my job was just to see they did not get hurt in the process. How anyone could think differently is just beyond me. I figured if I had three years to live I could assure their success.

I know from experience if you want to totally screw their chances then don't give them this foundation, don't let them know they are loved. This was not my experience, but it was for others I have known and been related to and the results were disastrous.

[dashDustin]

Oldest is back in normal school. I feel as though it was kinda rushed, but doctors know better than I do.

The dynamic in the house is...weird. Youngest is still getting picked up once a week for dinner with his dad, while the oldest is left behind. It has now been 1 month since shit hit the fan, and still no communication between oldest and his dad.

[JoB]

- Alzheimers
- Covid
- Liars and other mean people

None of them are great but in combination ... oof, look out. Hope y'all are hanging in there.

[bigbill]

Oldest is back in normal school. I feel as though it was kinda rushed, but doctors know better than I do.

The dynamic in the house is...weird. Youngest is still getting picked up once a week for dinner with his dad, while the oldest is left behind. It has now been 1 month since shit hit the fan, and still no communication between oldest and his dad.

When the youngest gets picked up, take the oldest on a two hour road trip. Get some takeout and just spend quality time listening.

My ex has turned into a shitshow in the past year which has hardened our son against her. It's not my problem to solve, but I have to let my son occasionally vent and make sure he knows I love him more than anything in the world. As a parent (which you are), it hurts to see your kid upset about something you can't fix.

[bigbill]

My booster hurts. It's like I've had three tetanus shots this year.

On the non-grump, I'll see my son next week in NYC for the Army-Navy game.

[dashDustin]

When the youngest gets picked up, take the oldest on a two hour road trip. Get some takeout and just spend quality time listening.

My ex has turned into a shitshow in the past year which has hardened our son against her. It's not my problem to solve, but I have to let my son occasionally vent and make sure he knows I love him more than anything in the world. As a parent (which you are), it hurts to see your kid upset about something you can't fix.

Instead of road trip, we do gym and he has his appointment with his therapist. After that it's school work then dinner. So, he keeps occupied, and it's easier for him to chat with his therapist. It works out...just kinda sucks that he is aware that his brother didn't come home after school and knows why.