So you forgot about your friend's birthday party after work. Your company takes care of all your dry cleaning; and the clothes you wore into the office, before suiting up, are not going to cut it. Missing the party isn't an option because Luis and Tere (who's birthday it is) are the kind of friends who call you 10 times a day, and beg you and the dog to stay at their place during the hurricane. They worry about you. You're going to their raw food restaurant, Rockin Raw, in Billyburg. You're wearing the suit you have on. You're going to be "that guy." Besides, there will be girls there. Vegan girls, but girls.

So you go. You drink beer and politely refuse the uncooked food because of your weird hangups. You do eat a slice of the raw birthday cake when you'd prefer the raw mounds- the ones you ate when you thought you could date that vegan girl- because the level of genius on that shit is nutzoid. You chat, have fun, play with their dog (who can run around the restaurant because Tere's hippie doctor totally had it registered as a service animal when she broke her foot.)

You walk home in the rain. You're soaked. You remember your dry cleaning won't be back tomorrow.
You hang the suit to dry, stuff the shoes with newspaper, and hope for the best.

In the morning, you shove a hand down your shoes to find the insides still damp. What do you do?

You grab the dark gray pair of Swiftwick winter socks that your friend Clark at Victory Bicycle Studio gave you the last time you were home. You go to work. No one notices a wet shoe smell becuase your feet are dry and that miracle fabric can TCB. And no one- except the bike messenger in line at Chipotle, who gives you a knowing nod- notices the white "W" on your ankles.

Fin.

Socks:
Swiftwick - The Best Athletic Performance Socks, Guaranteed

Guys who know about bike racing and socks:
VICTORY - UPGRADE

People who make Raw Food that other people seem to enjoy. And, in fact, the chocolate and coconut "mounds" are ridiculously good. Plus, you know, vegan girls:
rockin' raw