Part of a butler's duties are to wake up an employer. For hotel butlers, this can mean waking up someone you've just met the night before, or may have never met at all. However, in cases like this, it is always at the guest's request. This procedure will also work for house guests. Here is how we're trained to do it.

The most important thing to remember is to alway announce yourself using a calm tone of voice. Use their name (if you know it) and do it often. My last name is Anderson, so for the purposes for this discussion, that's what I'll be using. We're also going to say, for this exercise, that the person has to be woken up at 8 a.m.

Knock lightly on the door and announce (calmly) "Good morning, Mr. Anderson. It 8 o'clock." When entering a dark room, your eyes can take a moment to adjust. If you don't want to wake them up by knocking into things while entering (perhaps while carrying a tray of coffee and a newspaper) it is best to close your eyes for a few seconds before knocking and announcing yourself. This gives your eyes time to adjust to the dark room you are about to enter.

Enter the room, QUIETLY, place the tray on a nearby table, credenza, whatever, stand about two feet from the foot of the bed and announce again, " Good Morning, Mr. Anderson. It's 8 o'clock."

From here, it is all about gradually raising light/noise levels in the room. Start by opening a curtain. Make sure that the outside light won't be going directly into the sleeping person's eyes. Announce, " Good Morning, Mr. Anderson. It's 8 o'clock."

Stir the coffee. Announce. " Good Morning, Mr. Anderson. It's 8 o'clock."

Turn on a lamp. If there is adjacent bathroom, begin to run the shower. Return to the foot of the bed. Announce. " Good Morning, Mr. Anderson. It's 8 o'clock."

If you've gotten this far and the person is still asleep, go ahead and turn lights on in the room to about 75%. Announce again. "Good Morning, Mr. Anderson. It's 8 o'clock."

So, by this point, it is clear that the person is not going to wake up. You are going to have to touch them. But, it is never acceptable to touch an employer or a stranger (or perhaps your houseguest). So how to touch them without touching them, or at least without them knowing they were touched?

THIS IS A LAST RESORT. THIS IS ONLY TO BE DONE WHEN ALL OTHER ATTEMPTS TO CALMY WAKE THEM HAVE FAILED.

This is when it is handy to be wearing white gloves. In your case, hopefully the bed sheets will be covering them. Okay, standing at the foot of the bed, reach down and.....

Wiggle the big toe. You heard me. Do it. But do it gently and quickly. Step back. Announce. " Good Morning, Mr. Anderson. It's 8 o'clock."

They will wake up. They will have no idea what has just occurred.

Serve the coffee. Serve the paper. Mention that the shower is running. If it is acceptable, begin to lay out their clothes. It is important not to ask them any questions. "How are you feeling today?" How would they know? They just woke up.

Go about your business in the room. If things have shifted in the night, if any delicate parts have been exposed, do not look. They are aware that someone else is in the room and this will be something they check for. It will (or maybe, intentionally, will not) be covered.

Once you've got them up, and gone about your business in the room, ask if they will require anything else (again, no HJ jokes please). If no, then go ahead and exit.


And that is how you wake someone up. Good job! You did it.

Seriously, try the big toe thing on the Missus at home. Looking forward to reports back.