Consumer Product Warnings

[Tom]

OK - let's not turn this into a philosophy debate, but instead a celebration of low humor. Here's mine.

My eye hurts real bad so I bought eye drops at the store, they come in a little opaque white plastic bottle.

On the back it says "Do not use if the solution changes color or becomes cloudy."

[prcrstn8]

Do not stop blade with hands or genitals.

[54ny77]

"consumption of alcoholic beverages impairs your ability to drive a car or operate machinery, and may cause health problems."

and just who is that message targeted to, the working class stiff driving his pickup drunk to the construction site or manufacturing plant where he's about to operate a giant skip loader or operate a 10 ton hydraulic press?

why not, "consumption of alcoholic beverages impairs your ability to program computer code with accuracy or balance your checkbook, and may exacerbate marital problems?"

[Too Tall]

This is a dilly

[AbeNP]

A past coworker of mine tracked down a Giant XTC frame which was the version released in Asia (for some reason he had to have that version and not the US version). The frame came with a yellow sticker on the top tube indicating:

"Direction of travel ---->"

[GRAVELBIKE]

Do not stare at laser with remaining eye.

[Guillaume]

A classic : on coffee cups it's written Caution hot liquid, you can burn yourself. Or something like that.

[54ny77]

bottle of seltzer i'm drinking says, "point away from people, especially while opening."

[GRAVELBIKE]

Some of these are priceless:

Things People Said: Warning Labels

[bikinchris]

Remove before operating vehicle. On a set of sunshades that cover a windsheild to keep a car cooler.

[Tom]

OK, thread drift. (It's my thread and I can cry if I want to...)

They installed security* doors going into my cube farm. They put big signs on them: "Ensure doors remain closed." It reminds me of Raising Arizona, in a way... "Which is it, sonny? You want for us to get on the floor or remain still?"

* They put up a card reader which we are supposed to swipe, except the doors fail to lock at least two thirds of the time so people dutifully swipe when the door is already unlocked.

At least the sign isn't like the classic memo we got about the beautifying effort... the 'perineal garden out by the back door'.