Get Your Grump on Thursdays - Was (What's chapping my @ss today?)

[dashDustin]

Our boys' school is a huge stress on us.

Back story: their dad pushed to pull them from public school and get them into a charter school. Since wife and I are his bitches, we had to go along with it. The youngest is doing well, despite his really, really bad days (A/B student). The oldest isn't.

Oldest is barely getting by 4th grade. As in, I'm almost certain his teacher is fixing his grades to give him a 70 at the end of quarters. Their dad is all about video games, and does something with computers. When we get the boys after they have been with him for 5 days, it shows. It's a struggle to get them to focus on school work. iPads come before school. The fact that an 8 and 10yr old have iPads annoys the shit out of me to begin with, especially since the oldest lost his a year ago while under our care...so guess who had to replace it...And as the step-dad, all I can do is sit back, as I don't have the authority to do anything. It's sort of at the point where I'm not sure wife and I should have our own given the dramatic differences in parenting. Often times...like this morning...I just want to throw my hands up and say "done, not going to worry about it," but that's not the correct way to go about it. And it pisses me off.

We are in the last quarter and I'm pushing for the oldest to be held back. I don't think he's emotionally ready to advance, nor does he have the correct study habits and maturity to advance. He wants to leave this school and go back to public school, because it was easier; because they didn't have homework, because they were allowed electronic devices in the classroom, because electronic devices were part of the curriculum. The point has been made that he has too much homework and that the school works them too hard. My issue with that is that they don't have too much homework, he just doesn't do it. Or he'll do half of it, then tell his dad he's done. When it gets graded, it's an F. The other household doesn't look over school work. When they come to our place, we'll literally spend 3hrs a night doing 10 math problems that were supposed to have been done at his dads, because focus is elsewhere ("Where's my iPad?"). I love the fact that the school mimics a little high school, or even a college.

When he focuses on his work, and applies himself, it's easy to see he's got the brains...ace-ing a test is no problem. He just doesn't want to, nor does he think he needs to.

[defspace]

I've got a lot of these people in the office. Liars,know-it-alls, exaggerators, etc. yammering on all day with their insipid, inane comments.

This is my grump. I work in an open office environment. I am tucked into an alcove. I'm walled in on three sides. People can't see me. Thankfully, people forget I'm there sometimes... but I hear everything.

One coworker is compelled to fill any silence. She'll make comments about the silence. The usual target of her comments is basically deaf. They both shout at the top of their lungs. I'm just collateral damage.

"Oh my word! You would not believe this. I'm looking at my aunt's house!" This discovery of GoogleMaps street view consumed about two hours of the workday last Monday. She started printing from street view so she could show her friends their houses.
"You need Loratadine. L-O-R...N-E"
"You need to clean your DVD player, just like you'd clean your VCR"
"I think once you're over 65, you shouldn't have to pay income tax" Right, because your two favorite hobbies, Medicare and Rx drugs (FDA-regulated, I might remind you) have nothing to do with taxes
"Did you see dancing with the stars? Was that just terrible plastic surgery!?" Oh, good. It's not even 9:15am. Off to a good start.

I wear foam ear plugs if I need to focus. Sometimes I'll put on headphones on top of them. The playlist:

[davids]

After several years of decline my father-in-law died the weekend before last. My wife (fulfilling the stereotypical role of dutiful daughter, as well as being the overwhelmingly competent medical professional in the family) spent ever-escalating time over the last several months managing his medical and personal situation. She traveled hundreds of miles to his bedside four days before he died. I joined her there the day after he died, for a week of cleaning up/funeral plans/managing family. Just a surreal exhausting draining week, the capper on what was basically a three month death watch. We came home a week ago and slowly re-entered our lives.

And I felt I was doing all right, until the end of my first day back in the office, when my recently-hired assistant director ended the day by giving me his two-week notice. He'd basically been matched up to a fantastic opportunity by a friend. I can't begrudge his decision, but he's been a great addition to my team and I'm going to miss him a lot.

But that's not the point. The point is that it pushed me over the edge. I'm stressed, rattled, distracted... It was the figurative straw that broke the my back. I haven't felt this messed up in a while. I know it will pass, but I'm feeling a lot like a beaten dog today.

[dogrange]

Parents on their way out for a long-overdue visit. Mom calls, dad's knee replacement has an infection (again), so they are back in for emergency surgery (again). I really hope they can fix it this time without grave consequences. Later in the day my tax preparer lets me know that I can't e-file my taxes because someone has filed a fraudulent tax return using my SSN. Fun day!

[dashDustin]

("Where's my iPad

I forgot the problem that got me started on this last night...

The boys are required to wear a uniform, including a belt. Oldest had his 3rd detention this semester on Tuesday for not wearing a belt. They get 2 warning per semester before the first detention is handed out. Every time he has not had a belt, he's been at his dad's house.

[ThomasRZ]

The burden of working 117 miles from my home is becoming harder and harder to bear. I have ways of making it work (i.e. a crashpad that I stay at 2-3 nights during the week), but with an infant at home, I just want to come back to my house every night like a normal person, make a dinner with my wife, hold my kid and read the NYT to her, go to bed, and take the train to work the next morning. At least when I'm able to get in some good riding during the week, but there's not much pleasure in that because I would rather be riding back to my house instead of back to the crashpad.

Been looking at new opportunities, but the problem is that I've got a good amount of experience so I'm only a realistic candidate for mid-level/management.

Just biding my time and being persistent.

[joosttx]

Had to fire our nanny of 3 years today because she screamed "we are not fing doing this" and hit my 4 year old son on the side if the head. I completely destroyed right now.

[Corso]

Davids: I’ll reinforce what you yourself already know my friend: Stay strong for your wonderful wife and family.
Joosttx: WTF was she thinking? You did the right thing.

My daughter has been in the hospital for 2 weeks now, after the full month of Feb…I’ve never felt so helpless…But she’s getting better now.

To switch things up on a lighter note: I just saw Ringo Starr in a commercial spot hawking Sketchers loafers..?????

While I’m not a super-Beatle fan, this kind of upset me in an odd way…C’mom Ringo, your a fn’ BEATLE for Christ’s sake. Sketchers? Really? Somewhere in a quiet pub, Pete Best is shaking his head...

[ZenNMotion]

The burden of working 117 miles from my home is becoming harder and harder to bear. I have ways of making it work (i.e. a crashpad that I stay at 2-3 nights during the week), but with an infant at home, I just want to come back to my house every night like a normal person, make a dinner with my wife, hold my kid and read the NYT to her, go to bed, and take the train to work the next morning. At least when I'm able to get in some good riding during the week, but there's not much pleasure in that because I would rather be riding back to my house instead of back to the crashpad.

Been looking at new opportunities, but the problem is that I've got a good amount of experience so I'm only a realistic candidate for mid-level/management.

Just biding my time and being persistent.

I've been there, get active and make the change. And FWIW, I can't tell you how many times I've been desperate to find an F'ing competent mid-level manager to hire. They don't grow on trees.

[ZenNMotion]

I'm stressed, rattled, distracted... It was the figurative straw that broke the my back. I haven't felt this messed up in a while. I know it will pass, but I'm feeling a lot like a beaten dog today.

You know that advice about when the mask drops put it on before you help others...
RX: 1 Zanc taken several times weekly, with friends.

[davids]

You know that advice about when the mask drops put it on before you help others...
RX: 1 Zanc taken several times weekly, with friends.

Thanks. Right now it's going to be the Co-Motion, taken several times weekly, with wife. See the TGIF thread for more.

[Christian Fox]

Sorry I'm a day late, but I've been a bit busy dealing with:
1.) moving
2.) identity theft (discovered same day as moving. It's not easy changing addresses for things like bank accounts when you are doing everything you can for no changes to be made to your accounts).
3.) a mother-in-law who manages to make her 2 grandchildren (my kids) feel like shit. My 10yr old boy accomplished something this last weekend that was a big deal for him. Huge. Couldn't wait to tell grandma about it. But, in her own fucked up way, made him feel as though he did nothing. She does the same thing to my 12 yr old girl. She will regale you with tales of random people's wonderful kids and their unearthly feats, but when someone actually close to her does something great...hmmph! to get too uppity about it! She is an awful person, and someone I'd gladly see gone from my family's life forever. There is not an ounce of hyperbole in the prior sentence.

[dashDustin]

I forgot the problem that got me started on this last night...

The boys are required to wear a uniform, including a belt. Oldest had his 3rd detention this semester on Tuesday for not wearing a belt. They get 2 warning per semester before the first detention is handed out. Every time he has not had a belt, he's been at his dad's house.

Fuck it, I'm just going to keep this going.

Oldest's grades were updated yesterday at around 3pm. He's got a 39 in his English class, so 3 Fs at the moment. 2 assigments due Monday and Tuesday were 0s. He was at his dad's those days. We picked him up from school yesterday and asked for an explanation - "I don't know. I can't remember why they didn't get done." Not the correct answer. So we got home yesterday and he did homework till it was time for him to go to bed. We don't know if he'll get credit for it, but we weren't going to let him get away with not doing his work.

To add insult to injury, woke up at 3am this morning to Tank whining. I let him out of his kennel assuming he wanted to hop on the bed...which is weird, 'cause he doesn't normally do that. He also normally shakes, rather than whines. Well, he bypassed my hands and got about 2' beyond the bed before he pooped. Apparently he really, really had to go. He was ashamed and ran under the bed. Didn't punish or anything because we should've let him out when we noticed he was gassy, and it was pretty obvious he did what he could.

Ah...good times.

[ThomasRZ]

I've been there, get active and make the change. And FWIW, I can't tell you how many times I've been desperate to find an F'ing competent mid-level manager to hire. They don't grow on trees.

Thank you. And yes, I am on the task of making things happen. It's tough, but I am motivated.

[defspace]

Okay, I guess I'll go ahead and get this one started.

Stopped at a red light during my commute to work this morning, I look over and see the driver of the car next to me trimming the split ends off of her hair with a pair of scissors. When her light turned green, she looked up, saw the green, accelerated and kept on snipping away.

Does she keep scissors in her car? Did she make a conscious effort to bring a pair of scissors with her as she left the house this morning? So many questions. The big one: WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?!

[NYCfixie]

Home Buyers SUCK!

Why can't they get their $hit together. How difficult is it really to get an inspection, appraisal, and mortgage in a timely fashion?

You want to jerk around. Well our contract lets us re-list the house in three weeks from your offer which is still at the beginning of the season. We had multiple offers last time well over asking price and we will get them again. So, get it together or someone else is getting our house no matter how much you want it, how well you know three of our neighbors, and how much you want to live in our neighborhood.

[Brandon White]

1) BMW Service.
a) Can't complete 30K service in a single business day
b) Provide a reasonable loaner - they give me a civic with tire pressure warnings, low fuel, and every radio station has a pitbull song.

2) Wife is going on a 48 hour business trip leaving me with the kids, my parents (visiting), and my mother in law (kind of visiting). I don't know who will drive me more crazy.

3) Mosquitoes.

[dashDustin]

Oldest's grades were updated yesterday at around 3pm. He's got a 39 in his English class

Down to a 17. Got a 0 on a test on Monday. Was told to bring it home on Wednesday to correct. He wrote it down in his planner. The teacher wrote it down. He didn't bring it home. Said he didn't know he had to. I'm at a loss. A kid who says he wants to do good in school, wants to study ECE in college, has the proven ability to make A+s...

He was given a test review. He did so poorly (he answers a few questions then puts it away saying he's done with it. that's his MO), the teacher gave him an extra day. He didn't do it. The teacher gave him the answers to copy down so that he'd at least have something to study for the test. Didn't do it.

Just doesn't give a fuck about school.

He got a very stern, no bullshit talking to last night. He cried. A lot. Said he'd do better. Which is exactly the same thing that has happened 2 other times this semester.

All this school shit happens Monday through Wednesday. When we don't have him.

[joosttx]

1) BMW Service.
a) Can't complete 30K service in a single business day
b) Provide a reasonable loaner - they give me a civic with tire pressure warnings, low fuel, and every radio station has a pitbull song.

2) Wife is going on a 48 hour business trip leaving me with the kids, my parents (visiting), and my mother in law (kind of visiting). I don't know who will drive me more crazy.

3) Mosquitoes.

this makes me smile.

[nahtnoj]

Every day it takes less and less time for my shoulder to start feeling like shit.