Covid - The Light-hearted Thread

[Mark Kelly]

From Reddit

[Mark Walberg]

I’m amusing myself by thinking about articles that I would write for The Onion:

My idea for an Onion article is:

Harvey Weinstein appointed to Supreme Court, following the way blazed by Clarence Thomas and Brett Kavanaugh

[guido]

Fauci Gently Tells Trump Why He Can’t Hold Parade to Celebrate Great Job He Is Doing on the Coronavirus | The New Yorker

[PaMtbRider]

[lavi]

Some good shit here. I needed the pick me up.

[thollandpe]

Lord Birthday. It's a little dark but heck it still cheers me up.

Lord Birthday on Instagram: ““America is not just a country—it’s an idea” - Bono, singer of music group U2”

[claritycycler]

Despite Dr. Fauci's warning against it trump announces a "Stop the Virus March" stating it will be the largest/best ever. In a press release war time trump asked "all patriots to attend, it will be the greatest thing ever for our morale". hannity and carlson of fox news will be the parades co-hosts, both saying it will be an honor to serve our president on this momentous occasion.

[guido]

Despite Dr. Fauci's warning against it trump announces a "Stop the Virus March" stating it will be the largest/best ever. In a press release war time trump asked "all patriots to attend, it will be the greatest thing ever for our morale". hannity and carlson of fox news will be the parades co-hosts, both saying it will be an honor to serve our president on this momentous occasion.

Do my eyes deceive or are those pussy hats?

[claritycycler]

Do my eyes deceive or are those pussy hats?

Good eye, Women's March in NY(1/22/17), a crowd that won't be doing any of trump's bidding.

[robin3mj]

best song i've heard this week

[RichTheRoadie]

[Peter B]

Quarantine Tips from My Cat

By Nikki Palumbo
March 19, 2020


Get plenty of rest.

Sleep—anywhere. On or beneath the bed, in a sunny spot, under the covers, by the window, upside-down, on the couch, in the middle of the floor, on top of the refrigerator, in the closet, on your back, in a ball, in a box.

Keep active.

Knock a bunch of coins or small bottles off a table to see how far they bounce and roll. Chase your own tail. Sprawl on top of a good book. Get scared by something—anything—and race out of the room.

Bathe regularly.

Clean behind your ears. Now do it again.

Communicate with friends and family.

Start screaming at 6 A.M., for no reason, at anyone within hearing distance. Yowl at the birds. Walk across (or lie down on) a computer keyboard. Cry in front of the closed door to a room you’re not supposed to be in anyway. Bite a phone. Yell into your full bowl of food.

Maintain a balanced diet.

Eat small meals, three to fourteen times a day. Dump food onto the floor for variety. Put your entire hand in a bowl of popcorn but then decide it’s not what you want. Steal a piece of turkey from an unattended sandwich.

Stay hydrated.

Drink plenty of water, ideally directly from a running faucet.

Take on a project.

Hide all of your toys under the couch. Shred loose pieces of paper. Pull apart your roommate’s chair. Rub your hair on every article of clothing you can find. Shit in a box and then completely cover it up.

Meditate.

Stare at a spot on the wall or ceiling for six minutes.

Practice social distancing.

Stay away from humans. Hiss if you have to.

[RichTheRoadie]

Apologies if there are any Trump supporters here, but...

With restricted air travel, Donald Trump, Boris Johnson, Angela Merkel, the Pope and Greta Thunberg must share the one plane, flying from London to Zurich for an emergency global coronavirus meeting. Suddenly, all the engines cut out, and it is obvious they will soon crash. But there are only four parachutes!

“I’m the smartest man in the USA,” Trump says, “and am needed to make America great again.” He takes one and jumps.

“I’m needed to sort out Britain,” says Boris Johnson. He takes one and jumps.

“I need one as the world needs the Catholic church,” the Pope says. He takes one and jumps.

Angela Merkel turns to Greta Thunberg: “You can have the last parachute. I’ve lived my life. Yours is just starting, and we need you to lead the world on climate change action.”

“Don’t worry Chancellor,” replies Greta, “there are two parachutes left. The smartest man in the USA just jumped out with my school satchel.”

[bironi]

Thanks for the laugh Rich.
We all need a good laugh.
By

[Tom]

Well, I guess I'm officially a hoarder. I was thinking about what is absolutely necessary to have on hand in case the supply runs short. I went uh, oh. Campagnolo 11 speed chains. If I can't get bike chains I'm sunk. One is getting near replacement, one will be needing it before not too long. That's two. So I ordered four.

Not worried about pads for the disc bike. I don't go fast enough to wear out pads.

[Colinmclelland]

I did enjoy this...

Twitter

[Brian E Hammer]

Physically “sheltering in place” yeah, I get it. Doesn’t have to be that way mentally..., #Eff off Covid 🌻
[url=https://flic.kr/p/2iK5vhx]

[Chik]

I was on the bog when I read this. It gave new meaning to "shits and giggles".

Astrophysicist gets magnets stuck up nose while inventing coronavirus device | Australia news | The Guardian

[RichTheRoadie]

I was on the bog when I read this. It gave new meaning to "shits and giggles".

Astrophysicist gets magnets stuck up nose while inventing coronavirus device | Australia news | The Guardian

Brilliant. Goes some way to prove my theory about a correlation between clever people and a lack of common sense.

[NYCfixie]

It's true, GenX is better prepared than most for self isolation.

It Took a Global Pandemic, But Generation X is Finally Getting Love