Whistle by the graveyard Monday

[ides1056]

I would like to start a new thread along these lines: near misses that could have been disastrous, but all's well and you feel like you've been granted a reprieve from above.


My offering: Yesterday I was working on the last bit of flashing on a metal roof I replaced when the wood shingles inevitably failed on a house I built. My wife and I are deeply in the middle of not getting along.

All of a sudden the hook on the peak lets loose, and I find myself sliding with nowhere to go but down. There's a Wily Coyote moment as I launch into space, and then I land in a jumble of two ladders, tools, etc. I am crumpled into a ball, and sit there dazed, waiting for something to hurt, or not work. She comes running, terrified, getting ready to call the ambulance. I tell her I think I am okay. Together we disentangle my limbs from the ladders, she gives me a hand up, and everything works. Sore arm, sore elbow, but nothing more.

Hallelujah.

An Advil moment, no more.

[lumpy]

Hoo boy. I feel you. I used to live in a little house in Maynard, MA. The roof needed work. I wasn't ready to replace it yet, but it started leaking and the damaged area was up above the second story - and located above the basement bulkhead, so I couldn't just put up a ladder. Plus the biggest ladder I had wasn't quite tall enough.

I built a scaffold about 5 feet tall to get up above the bulkhead, and put my big ladder on top of it. There were windows in the right place so I tied the scaffold and the ladder in to 2 x 4s in the windows. Then I climbed up with my pot of hot tar, but I couldn't quite reach the spot.

I climbed back down so I could move the ladder and scaffold, untied both from their respective anchors, and went to move them, then realized that my pot of tar was still hanging from the top of the ladder. Without thinking about it, I ran back up the ladder to get it - then rode it all the way down as the un-anchored scaffold rolled backward and the ladder and I came down on top of it.

I broke the fly of the ladder, and broke one of the 2 x 4 braces of the scaffold with my leg on the way down. I didn't break anything but was locked up solid on the couch for a while. Bad times.

[holliscx]

I lived in a town in Virginia south of Fredericksburg with a tall bridge as its principal feature. On a whim once I decided I wanted to jump off it so arranged to have a friend take me out in his Boston Whaler one morning and a few friends came along including my wife now.

I'm still not sure how the tall the bridge is plus the tide but I'm guessing the jump was around 60 feet. People commit suicide off the bridge but I simply wanted to jump just for kicks.

Dumbest thing I've ever done. My hamstrings hit the water first which was like entering concrete. My neck felt like whiplash from the impact.

My legs on the underside were black & purple and my neck especially was sore for a week afterwards (I had trouble turning from side to side); I consider myself lucky.

I was working in the town and a friend of a friend who grew up there who was a ranger in the Army couldn't believe I jumped off the bridge.

I was legend status in his book so he went out one night a year or so afterward and jumped in the middle of the night drunk with the same spot man.

The only other thing that comes close is I was going to my preacher's house to mow his lawn after church one Sunday. We often rode centuries together sometimes with my brother.

It was wet and a squirrel ran out in front of his light pickup truck. He slammed on the brakes and we started to skid sideways and rolled 4-5 times landing upside down in a ditch.

I remember we were covered in church coffee and I asked permission to kick the window out but I couldn't. I'm pretty sure we could've died that day but we had god on our side.

[mjbabcock]

Ugh...these suck to relive.

I will forever remember a hard right-hand downhill turn descending towards the Delaware River above Stockton, NJ where we hit a washboard section going ~40. I was 16-17 years old in a group of 5-6 and hit the brakes. I straightened out, crossed the opposite lane and ended up on a shoulder inches from a galvanized steel guard rail. If a car was coming, I would have been dead. Without the car, how I didn't clip it and smash into it face first at speed I'll never know, but I'll never forget the odd chill that came over my whole body as I came to a stop.

[zachateseverything]

I have had three close calls.

I was 9. My brother, my dad, and I were at my grandmother's house for the weekend. We had walked across the street to a general store for snacks. I got a slim jim (that's not the part that almost killed me). Walking back to the house my dad stopped to chat with one of his high school buddies. My brother was supposed to walk me across the street back to the house. He instead just bolted. I initially stopped at the corner and waited to make the crossing on my own but decided, "I'm faster than that car" and tried to bolt across the street. The next thing I knew, I was flying through the air over the hood of the car. Miraculously, I didn't break anything. I was covered in road rash and had a chipped tooth but was able to go into school for picture day the next week. The chip is still there and I picked up a ton of traffic anxiety that I'm only now just working through nearly 30 years later.

I was 19. I had just helped my grandfather put a bunch of siding on his new 2 story garage. The job was done and it was time to take down the scaffolding. I had broken it down so it was just 2 five foot sections left. I unhooked the last side support and forgot that I was in the landing zone for the other upright behind me. I managed to get my hands up in time to stop it from completely collapsing on me but I didn't have enough leverage to get it off of me until my grandfather came over to see what the commotion was.

I was 29. I did a 100 person Cat 5 race in the rain.

[zachateseverything]

I have had three close calls.

I was 9. My brother, my dad, and I were at my grandmother's house for the weekend. We had walked across the street to a general store for snacks. I got a slim jim (that's not the part that almost killed me). Walking back to the house my dad stopped to chat with one of his high school buddies. My brother was supposed to walk me across the street back to the house. He instead just bolted. I initially stopped at the corner and waited to make the crossing on my own but decided, "I'm faster than that car" and tried to bolt across the street. The next thing I knew, I was flying through the air over the hood of the car. Miraculously, I didn't break anything. I was covered in road rash and had a chipped tooth but was able to go into school for picture day the next week. The chip is still there and I picked up a ton of traffic anxiety that I'm only now just working through nearly 30 years later.

I was 19. I had just helped my grandfather put a bunch of siding on his new 2 story garage. The job was done and it was time to take down the scaffolding. I had broken it down so it was just 2 five foot sections left. I unhooked the last side support and forgot that I was in the landing zone for the other upright behind me. I managed to get my hands up in time to stop it from completely collapsing on me but I didn't have enough leverage to get it off of me until my grandfather came over to see what the commotion was.

I was 29. I did a 100 person Cat 5 race in the rain.

[j44ke]

Senior year of high school. Walked around a corner and these three big guys in parkas were standing there. One pulls out an automatic and points it at me. Silence. Then one of the guys says naw he's alright. He lives around the corner from me. Gun goes away and they step aside. I have no idea who they were or what they looked like. All I remember is the gun and the parkas.

[bigbill]

I did 20 deployments. I broke 11 bones, four concussions with sutures/staples, burned, electrocuted, typical stuff. Got a Presidential Unit Citation for stuff I can't talk about. Every day is a gift.

[Tom]

March 9 2009 I'm riding up a hill on NYS Rte. 146. Next thing I know is I'm looking backwards through a telescope and some guy is looking at me going "Are you OK? I saw you laying in the ditch." It turns out a lady in a Mustang drifted over and flicked me out. Destroyed my rear wheel, just caught my left chain stay at the dropout. I removed her passenger side mirror with my butt. She drove away. At the time I used Speedplay pedals. I left the bike so fast it tore the little screws out of the cleats. Nothing but a concussion, a rib slightly displaced, right shoulder mildly screwed up. The pattern of bruising on my legs made it clear my left leg was at the top of the pedal stroke. If it had been at the bottom the car would have struck me on the leg... if she was even a couple of more inches over she would have got me good.

The local police department were pretty amazing. They figured out who it was, albeit through a remarkable coincidence, and bluffed her into admitting it. Not bad for when the only witness can't remember the previous half mile after waiting out a red light.

[Tom]

Then there was the time when I was in the passenger seat of my (assigned) college roommates 79 Trans Am Special Edition when he decided to run from the NYS trooper. We missed the tractor, the cows in the road and were outpacing the police car but he had to know we were on a dead end. I left my roommate at the barracks with the word that he could call that lawyer he kept on retainer.

[monadnocky]

March 9 2009 I'm riding up a hill on NYS Rte. 146. Next thing I know is I'm looking backwards through a telescope and some guy is looking at me going "Are you OK? I saw you laying in the ditch." It turns out a lady in a Mustang drifted over and flicked me out. Destroyed my rear wheel, just caught my left chain stay at the dropout. I removed her passenger side mirror with my butt. She drove away. At the time I used Speedplay pedals. I left the bike so fast it tore the little screws out of the cleats. Nothing but a concussion, a rib slightly displaced, right shoulder mildly screwed up. The pattern of bruising on my legs made it clear my left leg was at the top of the pedal stroke. If it had been at the bottom the car would have struck me on the leg... if she was even a couple of more inches over she would have got me good.

The local police department were pretty amazing. They figured out who it was, albeit through a remarkable coincidence, and bluffed her into admitting it. Not bad for when the only witness can't remember the previous half mile after waiting out a red light.

Inquiring minds want to know what became of this idiot who almost killed you.

[Peter Polack]

I was at work moving something from the receiving area, using a forklift.
I was backing up with no clue I was about to drive off the loading dock. Fortunately, someone hollered and stopped me.

Same job-I was told to find a place to mount a broom holder. I decided to mount it on the wall behind a door. Grabbed a drill and damn if I couldn't penetrate the sheetrock to install the plastic anchor. What the hell is on the other side of this wall?! I opened the door and looked-I was trying to drill into an electrical panel.

[David Tollefson]

I have had three close calls.

I was 9....

I was 19....

I was 29....

Apparently the problem is 9's. Watch out for 39.

[Clyde]

During a spell in my early 20's I cannot remember the number of times I drove home drunk/drugged-out from the bar, closing one eye to attempt to keep the road from moving around. I don't consider this an accomplishment, nor a source of pride. I am approaching my 24th year of sobriety and my current job in the ER keeps me well aware of the consequences of this behavior. Not that I didn't have several wrecks/dui's of my own, however it could have been much worse. And luckily I didn't take any innocent citizens to the graveyard with my behavior.

[Tom]

Aggravated unlicensed operation, leaving the scene of a property damage accident. Couldn't prove leaving the scene of a personal injury accident because I didn't go directly to the hospital and only reported the accident the next day when I finally figured out I didn't do it to myself. The investigating police officer told me that he was really disappointed that they couldn't push that one.

It was a person in a downward spiral, don't know if what happened shook her out of it or accelerated the decline. From what I was told of what was going on probably the latter. I feel bad for her two small children that were in the car and I understand efforts were underway to get them in a better place but it really sucks for kids to deal with that kind of thing.

[rainy rider]

About a month ago an out of control dump truck in downtown Seattle missed me and a colleague by a couple of feet as we were crossing the street. Guy going the other way was hit and tossed into the other crosswalk. Truck then proceeded down the hill and slammed into a Subway in Pioneer Square. Amazingly, the guy in the crosswalk only had minor injuries and everyone in the Subway was fine. Few other minor injuries for some others. I escaped with just some adrenaline shakes

[Mark Walberg]

Ides,
Too many close calls here, but they require several beers to tell right.
The best news of all would be that this event got the two of you to recognize that you have a lot going together.
Just hoping for the best. Always an optimist.

[ides1056]

Thanks, Mark. I will work on it.

[Corso]

This one rises to the surface: High school senior, drinking heavily at local college bar in suburbia. Not driving that night, so I figured why not...anyway, a pal who hardly ever came out (moved to US from Italy, very strict parents) was totally trashed, lived near me, so I figured I'd drive him home, in his dad's pickup-and walk home.

He fell asleep asap, I was driving "ok" when I came across a lit flair in the road. Hmm, I don't see any broken down cars around, so I drove over it and on...

Something in my brain said STOP NOW- I slamed on the brakes, just in time to see what looked like a billboard of giant white letters moving inches across the front of the truck- pal woke up from brake slam, scream "OH MY GOD YOU SAVED MY LIFE", your the best, I owe you forever," blah blah blah...

Then it hit me: A freight train was rambling by....fn' sobered my up in a hurry!!!!!!!

Luck. it could have all ended back in 1979.

[TTX1]

1)
I cut nylon rope with a small handheld blowtorch when I was maybe 13. The rope was used to tie up boats and the torch cut rope ends didn't fray. Too many near misses to count. I singed myself more than once. It's amazing that I'm alive and didn't burn down the house.


2)
I worked for Volant Skis in the early 90s. We drove Hummers instead of the typical Econoline demo van.

One night at Jay Peak - I was staying at my usual B&B/small hotel place - and the bartender offered free drinks in return for a ride in the Hummer.

He asked one of the regulars to cover the bar, and we went out for a spin and he directed me to some logging trails. We went in to the woods a good distance when I decided it was his turn to pay up.

On the way back, the vehicle dropped through some ice. Logging skidders have huge tires and the ruts and mud were considerably deeper under the frozen crust on top. It took about an hour to get the Hummer free, but we ultimately drove out of a situation that could have ended differently.

The escape from the ice in the woods in Northern VT, at night, in the middle of winter, was not the death defying moment. It was the wrath of the regular who had to cover the bar for well over an hour - he assumed I was showboating the entire time. Dude was pissed - and drunk - and met us in the parking lot with a gun.