Retirement thoughts/plans/dreams

[htwoopup]

I have stayed away from answering this because I see it somewhat like trying to do bike fit from afar.

But so many have said so much that I agree with that I figure I should pile on with my experience that makes me think I have the right to agree with them. Perhaps my take on it will give you some either pros or cons of things you have been thinking about it.

I don't want to get into the money stuff in specific advice as others have done as I am even more incompetent in that than I am in climbing that hill on Route 117. I have been lucky in that I somehow picked the right people to help me but I know I could have done better. But as my wife says, what is done is done. And as I think you will see, there is a logic (or illogical rationalization depending on your view) into why that is okay for me if not others.

I was in an industry that I retired early although while it was by my own volition it was sort of a get out while the getting was good as there is such ageism in my career industry that it was an eventuality sooner rather than later whether I was prepared for it or not.

I had recently lost a dear friend who was 22 years my senior. And a month later lost a dear friend who was a week older than me. And then two weeks later I lost another dear friend who was 17 years younger than me.

I very quickly felt the adage of the fact that you know that you are going to die but you do not know when that will be. Which to me was a proof point that time is far more valuable than money.

Which made me think that I was just as happy when I started my career nursing a beer for hours while I inhaled mozzarella sticks and wings at happy hour at some bar because I didn't make enough to afford an apartment and food in New York City at the salary I was paid as I was when I made money where I didn't have to worry about such things.

As Houston wisely said though, fat is better than not...making 3% on a 100 is easier than 8% on 50 (or something like that). Plus as many have commented, health care is the big big concern particularly if you live in the US.

To that US health thing I will go against what I said above about financial thinking and say that the smartest thing I did when I was young as you are now was to buy a long term care health policy. I don't know if that is a fair statement because I haven't used it. But I watched in horror as my Mom lived through not only emotional hell but financial hell in her last years so having the policy in place at low rates because of the age I bought it is at least an easing of worry.

The Houston line reminded me that someone once said to me, "you can retire on x if you want to look at the Dow every day and make yourself crazy until you die and perform perfectly or you can really retire on x times 3 which allows you to go to Bali, fall in love, and return in a year and still not have to WORRY about it". Worry is the biggest thing about retirement. The more you can remove worry the happier you will be. A lot of that is money as in will I outlive it. You don't want to be the guy that tells the doctor not to do a test at the age of 80 because you don't want to know because you only have money until you are 81 and you are afraid he will tell you that you have 7 more years.

But, money doesn't buy happiness.

You say you are thinking of moving to where it is warmer/ more cycling friendly (or something like that).

I hate winter, yet I moved to a place where it is very cold and the snow is higher than my head in the winter. I put the garbage out in a vest. And when I am in NY I go out in a tee shirt when it is 10 degrees. Which I would have thought was ridiculous 4 years ago. And I bought a fat bike which is a blast in the snow. Which is all to say the body and mind adapt. Of course, when it gets down to 50 here I am the first guy in down for a week or two every fall. Oh, and I also learned to ski. Which I was previously terrified of. I suck at it but I don't care because it is different and I enjoy it somehow.

Plus, Darren started another thread about your roads suck. So, remember wherever you go just remember that it can get old. I never understood golfers joining a club for the golf (the camaraderie yes but that is the next thought) because if you keep hitting the ball to the same place on the fourth hole how interesting can the next shot be? At least with cycling as David said in the DCT thread you can ride the route backwards for interest. But the third or fourth dimension you need to travel or take a random left turn.
I think part of the proof in that for me is what Lionel said in this thread about "living there full-time may be a tough call" and he is talking about one of the nicest places in the universe. I guess my thought here is that I thank my lucky stars that I have two places to live that are very different and the ability, although somewhat limited, to explore other places (I could never explore all of Quebec and Eastern Canada totally even if I had started 30 years ago).

This is also a reason to not base it on cycling...although that is why we are all here at the basest level. I realized that the cycling was so much more because of the other things I did. It is the reason why I will always need something else for perspective. And appreciation of all things. I was slapped in the face with this when my wife said "is there anything important to you other than bikes?" It took a year of finding other things (some of them again) that were important to me other than cycling to make cycling be as special as it is to me now...and importantly to get her to voluntarily without prompting ask me if I would get her a "real bike" and ride with her sometimes.

The golf club and camaraderie...and moving etc....

The biggest single problem I had when I retired was that my playmates were still working. I had to learn to enjoy it on my own. And now, thankfully, I have a wife who is willing to give it a go and I have made new friends who can ride on my schedule or lack thereof. I only point this out because for me, moving to a town where I had trouble making friends (because of language lack of fluency and totally fish out of water in their eyes) it was problematic and it is a part of life I would hope anyone thinking about moving would consider.

As I think David said, consider just staying where you are with as someone else said a refresh of home/ downsize/ whatever and using that as a base. I think there is something that should be more than loose internet wishful banter that Josh, Jon, and others have done in this thread about moving somewhere (France) together. I guess I am saying don't go too far out of your comfort zone and expand and deepen your playmate list rapidly. That is advice I wish I had lived.

Do other things. It always sounds good. But do it. It ain't so easy. You need to force yourself out of your comfort zone. And as Ron said in another thread, surround yourself with young people for the way they think and their energy. Again, it is easier said than done, particularly as you get older.

And remember time is more dear than money...donate time to good causes that you genuinely believe in and that give you the ability to see YOUR impact on another human being...even if it just a little impact. The way that will make you feel about your place in the world is immeasurable. Plus, it will but some perspective and humility into your cycling.

In a nutshell, it isn't about moving to somewhere warm and investing in 60% stocks and 40% bonds. It isn't about being bored in what pays you or not (would they pay you if it didn't suck? Would you do it if they didn't pay you?). It isn't about what is perfect for cycling (or any other singular pursuit) 12 months a year.

It is about you inside. And your partner's/ family's/ those you care about in an emotional not necessarily logical way's needs/wants/desires because you give them pleasure and support and they do the same for you.

It isn't about a plan necessarily, because the weather will change and you need to be happy even if the locusts/ pestilence and so on show up. And you have to have the courage to grab at the rainbow and follow the stars when that all shows up.

I could go on, but you folks will have to charge me for the therapy.

I hope this has been helpful in your thinking it through. And if it has only confused things, I apologize for that but merely ask that you not take it all seriously because I am not sure there really is an answer.