New Rules

[Unoveloce]

I liked the Velominati rules because they were so blatantly over the top and tongue in cheek, but what I hated were all the people who took them too seriously. It was like talking to a person who thinks Stephen Colbert is actually a right wing pundit and not a characterization of one for entertainment. Today I was linked to these "new rules" for a cyclist and I think they are worthy of being taken much more seriously.

The Rules | kolo t.c.

[RickM]

If folks would just follow Rule #1, everything else would fall into place.

[Too Tall]

If you have a brain, two feet and a bicycle you'll have some rules for riding. Your personal moral compass may be broken or a shining star.
Have your rules intact and use them. Below is a pretty good start for anyone.

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Liberated from: The Rules | kolo t.c.

It’s even more simple than you’ve been told.

The Rules

1. Don’t be a dick.

2. Ride whatever the hell you want.

3. No one gives a shit if your bar tape matches your seat.

4. The bike comes first, right behind family and friends and making a living.

5. Riding in bad weather makes you better. But don’t be stupid about it.

6. If you aren’t having fun, stop.

7. Don’t overlap wheels. Just fuckin’ don’t.

8. Don’t be late to a group ride. Be early.

9. If you’re dropped three times, do your own thing. (See Gentlemen’s Ride)

10. If it’s a no-drop ride, don’t drop people. Ass.

11. Support your local bike shop. And bring them food sometimes.

12. If you race more than 3 times a year, you are in Sport division. If you podium twice, move up. If you win, move up. Getting dead last in Expert is better than winning in Sport. Getting DFL in Pro is better than winning in Expert. No one cares if you win. We all have to go to work on Monday. Test yourself.

13. If you get plate number 13, you turn it upside down. You just do.

14. Do not make start line excuses. “I haven’t been riding”, “I’ve was sick last night”, “I’m too hung over”, “My bike is too heavy”, and the like, are all your fault. Just ride, congratulate the winner, and hang out with your pals after. It’s all good, man.

15. Blogs are stupid. Don’t listen to them, and never take them seriously.

Glossary

Coffee Ride: Easy, Pease-y. You ride bikes slow and go to a place to drink coffee. Do not fuck up the coffee part. Jeez.

Gentlemen’s Ride: A group ride consisting of any number of riders. Fast but conversational pace on the flats, with hard efforts on climbs. Strict rolling regroups over the top of climbs. Everyone gets back on the first time, no exceptions. Second climb, rolling regroup. If you are dropped two or three times, do the gentlemanly thing and finish the ride alone. If you’re crushing everyone, do the gentlemanly thing and make sure the bulk of the ride stays together. Most of the group should finish together. Ride leader makes any other decisions.

No-Drop Ride: No one is left behind. Ever. That said, make sure a pace is announced and enforced, and do not get in over your head. If it is no drop at 18mph and you can only do 14, think long and hard about going.

Ice Cream Ride: No spandex. 10-12mph. It ends in ice cream, preferably out of a small, miniature Detroit Tigers helmet.

Recovery Ride: If someone says they are going on a recovery ride, they are going to try to drop you on every climb. Guaranteed.

[jb1883us]

Sovis is a great guy and an under the radar guy. Happy to see that link made it all the way to OR.

[Lionel]

This makes too much sense and therefore is not as fun as the velomati rules.

[Too Tall]

This makes too much sense and therefore is not as fun as the velomati rules.

We can do both ;) I'm gathering these for the VSalon wiki.

[Wisco]

It's always good to revisit a basic set of rules and this one is better than most because it focuses on what is good and also calls out douchery. I'm happy to see that a "no-drop" ride is finally defined for what the term means in English, since in my experience no-drop rides and recovery rides are often misconstrued.

[Too Tall]

Here yah go:
Velominati › The Rules

[SpeedyChix]

That's it, one of Michigan's best cycling sites has now made it coast to coast.

[Rhys]

Also:
Some answers to just about any bike forum post I’ve ever read | Blog | Surly Bikes

[Saab2000]

That's it, one of Michigan's best cycling sites has now made it coast to coast.

Michigan: Possibly, the best unknown, under appreciated riding in the country.

[Bssc]

learn to take care/ maintain of your bike properly this means washing it more than once a month try weekly, not to over lube , not to let sports drink dribble everywhere and not clean it off, to not follow dumb fads that jeopardize the quality or survivability of racing

[crumpton]

Here yah go:
Velominati › The Rules

did this really happen?

Rule #11 // Family does not come first. The bike does.
Sean Kelly, being interviewed after the ’84 Amstel Gold Race, spots his wife leaning against his Citroën AX. He interrupts the interview to tell her to get off the paintwork, to which she shrugs, “In your life the car comes first, then the bike, then me.” Instinctively, he snaps back, “You got the order wrong. The bike comes first.”21

[holliscx]

Did this guy take down the link or something? Josh thanks for cut / pasting those are brilliant. I like how they compliment Velominati's Rules.

[Tinea Pedis]

Did this guy take down the link or something? Josh thanks for cut / pasting those are brilliant. I like how they compliment Velominati's Rules.

Odd one. As the article is still down.

Is the quoted parts above the whole thing? I recall it being a little more extensive...

[Gattonero]

More time spent reading one's nearly-taliban's opinions*, than actually riding?

Duh.
Ride safe, have your bike safe, respect the road rules and the others, be sensible but be brave too.
That is all.


*yeah boy, try to ride with only 750ml of water in South Italy in june, then tell me which bed will you be in the hospital.