What's the most disgusting thing you can do at Wal-Mart?

[xjoex]

... while researching peanuts.

Is this a euphemism?

-Joe

[rowdyhillrambler]

Dude, hot is hot... When in Rome.. Party 'til you puke.

I was just in Walmart yesterday, and by some twilight zone miracle I saw a string of extremely attractive women (there may have been hot dudes too, but they don't really show up on my radar most of the time).

[rowdyhillrambler]

Cody.wms, this will officially be the title of my next art installation. I will send you a plane ticket home for the "opening"


"" with sweatpants floating gently on a rack """

[Nierman]

Ok, I spent multiple years as an employee of the Wal-Mart corporation. And despite all the negativity, it was a great job for a kid in college. But this is my favorite story. This will take a second:

The supercenter I worked at was a big deal, locally, for quite a while. When it opened a bunch of people in my class (high school) took off to go to the opening. That kind of town. Now, this also means that people are pretty loyal as employees. It also means that people will picket the Wal-Mart when the manager gets fired. Not when the company replaces American jobs with the shittiest shit possible. But I digress. There was one family that was particularly wal-martian. The wife worked there full-time. The Husband moonlighted there, as the bike assembler. He could even occasionally put the fork on the right way! The daughter worked there. The daughter's husband did also. Son #1 worked there for a while. Son #2 worked there. I guess relations with the husband and wife weren't storybook, and he was plowing through another Wal-Mart employee. Thankfully, they worked out their problems and decided that in order to show the universe that they were right with each other they needed to renew their vows. And where else to renew their vows than in the place of so much joy and strife -- Walmart.

So, late one afternoon directly in front of women's clothing, across the aisle from the cigarette register, they renewed their vows in what I hope for them was an awkward embarrassing ceremony. I know it wasn't though, since they thought it was ok in the first place. But I really hope that they have a video somewhere of them renewing their vows, with sweatpants floating gently on a rack in front of them and the gentle chime of me selling someone cheap cigarettes at state minimum rates behind them.

That was beautiful.

[joosttx]

Is this a euphemism?

-Joe

No, that the real deal.

[dgaddis]

It may not be an issue with Walmart but with Aiken. I spent two years in Blackville, SC living with a son of a moonshiner and semi-pro blackjack player while researching peanuts. The stories I can tell about my experiences about that area are practically unbelievable.

Start a thread, I can't wait. Seriously. Include as much local knowledge as possible (I don't live in Aiken, worked there for a few years, but really don't know much about the place). You saw the gypsies, right?

This thread is way better than expected.

[edoz]

The most disgusting thing I can think to do at a Wal-Mart is go inside. I'd also totally be down for a "Do not engage" t-shirt

[maunahaole]

Will this DNE shirt be a conventional t or a wifebeater?

[edoz]

I would seriously buy one, there are times when I hear a line from Halo: Reach in my head. "Noble six, do not engage. Say again, DO NOT ENGAGE. Proceed to your objective."

[Matthew Strongin]

Will this DNE shirt be a conventional t or a wifebeater?

Should be a wifebeater. pre-stained.

[Shoogs]

Should be a wifebeater. pre-stained.

If you call it patina you can charge double.

[TMB]

Reading many of these comments reminds me there are indeed two Americas.

Yes.

Sadly.

[j44ke]

Reading many of these comments reminds me there are indeed two Americas.

Only two?

[Jake Rosenfeld]

@cody.wms

Wal-martian? dude you are on a roll! that was awesome!

[joosttx]

I became curious. So I googled "registered sex offenders Aiken Sc". And I got this...



I am now not that surprised there is a toe sucker lurking in the Aiken Walmart

[joosttx]

... To put more fuel on the fire


(don't send your kids to summer camp in Winsor!)

There's a registered sex offender for very 300 people in Aiken. To put that in perspective my town the ratio is about 12000 to 1 and in the town of sodom, San Francisco, the ratio is 1300 to 1.

[chasea]

Dude, hot is hot... When in Rome.. Party 'til you puke.

I'd scrolled past your screenname; but when I read it, I knew it was you.

xoxo

[cody.wms]

Only two?

Prolly way more than two, but if we ever divorce America and have a lottery for all of the stuff we made while we were together, I hope my America can get all of the barns, ICP, all the guys that hang out in a Hardees at 6AM, all semi-professional racetracks, country fairs, the Police Academy movies, and all freestanding Roy Rogers locations (they can keep the turnpike ones).

They can keep all the Crossfits, at least 90% of the triathletes, anyone that casually asks strangers how much something costs, that girl I went to law school with that paid a premium to live near school, but still drove her BMW three blocks closer, so she wouldn't have to roll her rollybag that far, and anyone that is perplexed at ordering at a chain restaurant.

[houston]

Should be a wifebeater. pre-stained.

Don't be half-assed about this. We need the lower portion of the kit. Camouflage cargo pants will tie the look together, will it not? If you buy the complete kit, the black Tap-Out hat is thrown in for free.

I have a men's fragrance in mind too. A delicate symphony of yesterdays beer with an overwhelming punch of Basic cigarette smoke aroma.

[Matthew Strongin]

Prolly way more than two, but if we ever divorce America and have a lottery for all of the stuff we made while we were together, I hope my America can get all of the barns, ICP, all the guys that hang out in a Hardees at 6AM, all semi-professional racetracks, country fairs, the Police Academy movies, and all freestanding Roy Rogers locations (they can keep the turnpike ones).

They can keep all the Crossfits, at least 90% of the triathletes, anyone that casually asks strangers how much something costs, that girl I went to law school with that paid a premium to live near school, but still drove her BMW three blocks closer, so she wouldn't have to roll her rollybag that far, and anyone that is perplexed at ordering at a chain restaurant.

I hope the divorce never happens. I want that girl you went to law school with to grow up with ICP. How sad would it be if she never gets to attend the Gathering just because her parents couldn't get along.