Get Your Grump on Thursdays - Was (What's chapping my @ss today?)

[maunahaole]

I hope that the dog isn't in there to witness that.

[joosttx]

It's raining balls and I'm trapped in an Econo Lodge outside Binghamton with EddieB.



To be continued...

I swear to God on my Mothers health. I just woke up in the middle of the night from my slumber for no apparent reason. I instinctively grab my ipad and I come across this. Godspeed Ismael.....

[Saab2000]

I just finished a ride in Arlington, VA into the District of Columbia. And back.

The entitled rich kid from Georgetown who yelled at me for riding on the sidewalk on the Key Bridge can fucking make me get off it. The rich kid's dad who yelled at my for riding on the road on the Key Bridge can fuck off.

Arlington, VA is not populated with poor people. They are doing some kind of water project in my brother's neighborhood right now and the water is off. Middle of the day. July 4th. I presume everyone in this neighborhood is at home right now because nobody's working. There is no water. This project has been going on for months and having water hoses (yes HOSES) running up and down the street as the water supply is absurd in a place like this. Infrastructure costs money. Want less government? Move to Somalia and let me pay for proper water supplies.

Water hoses in Arlington, VA.

Finally, the pathlete cat 1 looking guy who threw down yesterday coming up from the Key Bridge on the trail (I think it's the Custis Trail) in a de facto race challenge: you suck. You tried to drop me on every gradient up that road for the next 3 or 4 miles. You acted like you weren't trying but anyone could see your body tense up as you tried to accelerate nonchalantly and keep the pressure up. I breathed harder but you didn't drop me. Not even close. The Tour de France is taking place right now. If you were so great you'd be riding in it and not trying to beat up on 46 year old fatsos on Serottas with Campagnolo. God I love it when that happens.

Well, the last one's not a grump. It caused me great joy. But the rich little shit in Georgetown pissed me off and the water thing is unacceptable in the so-called Greatest Nation in the History of the World. On July 4th.

Next.

[j44ke]

I'm getting a little tired of everything being "for the troops." Yes, I get it. People who serve in the military make sacrifices, sometimes the ultimate sacrifice. My paternal grandfather spent WWII on a hospital ship in the Pacific stitching guys back together after being blown to bits on Iwo Jima, Guadalcanal, etc. My maternal grandfather and his entire family (including my mother) were prisoners of war in a civilian camp in Manila, Philippines, for three years. Our best family friend is someone who was given a nine-millimeter and a flashlight and told to crawl down a tiny hole in the ground and see if anything was down there. I am totally one hundred percent behind the respect and honor that should be accorded someone who has served.

But I think at a certain point, the "for the troops" thing gets co-opted as a marketing ploy and becomes a marshmellow peep version of respect trickling (if fire hoses can trickle) into the realm of jingoistic subservience and a we're-not-worthy paean to the military-industrail complex that is far too willing to sacrifice our neighbors and fellow citizens as long as it serves the interests of industry, banking and petroleum production and it all starts to smell like a recruiting program for Exxon's private army.

In short, I would like to watch a frickin' baseball game where everyone wore baseball uniforms and not camouflage and the announcers actually discussed baseball and didn't constantly read scripted cards about how great the military is. And while we're at it, let's get rid of God Bless America in the 7th inning. Take Me Out to the Ball Game is just fine.

Happy Fourth of July.

[kpomtb]

I have to work tomorrow. This should be a 4 day weekend.

[maunahaole]

My grump: no follow up drink report to this.

It's raining balls and I'm trapped in an Econo Lodge outside Binghamton with EddieB.



To be continued...

[Jaq]

I love my country. I love huge explosions & blowing shit up. I love fireworks on the 4th of July - and most other times of the year, too. But it's 11:50pm, fireworks shows are still going off, the pets are climbing the walls, and both me & Mrs. Jaq have to work in the morning.

S-T-F-U America.

P.s. Happy 4th, all!

[chasea]

My grump: no follow up drink report to this.

Better than Four Loko. So, still, really bad.

[Eddie]

My grump: no follow up drink report to this.

I've got the tasting notes scribbled on an Econo Lodge notepad. Remember a "pours a neon salmon" descriptor. We'll get to it.

[maunahaole]

Neon salmon? Wade, Garro and the Minnesota contingent should be on board irrespective of flavourways.

[boxerboxer]

Neon salmon? Wade, Garro and the Minnesota contingent should be on board irrespective of flavourways.

Sure, provided we're watching and not tasting.

[Too Tall]

Again? Really?

Today is not thursday. Go watch the tour. Drop for 20. See you next week. xxooo

[maunahaole]

[roseyscot]

client is upgrading software overnight. i was scheduled for validation work at 5am. woke up at 3am for a crying baby and saw that they are 4+ hours ahead of schedule and people are wondering where the heck i am.

also, decided to leave my work at work so now i'm scrambling to validate remotely (because i didn't feel like carrying a backpack home on the bike last night). i'm an idiot.

[Jonathan]

Edit: Oh never mind. Complaining is never really that satisfying.

[ldamelio]

The 'secret race' is an old one - when you're out riding minding your own business and someone latches onto your wheel (usually T-shirt/ aero bar /10 cm of stem spacers guy) and slays himself to hang on your wheel with wordless grim determination. And you're not even riding hard. And you're no great shakes yourself (me, 52 year old sleep deprived asthmatic cat 4). Such a common occurrence it's not worth mentioning in this august forum. However, this weekend, it hit new lows with the following three assclowns. (Yes, it's one word. I say so, spell checker.)

1) Perfectly flat beach road, minding my own business enjoying the view - going about 16 mph with a tailwind alternately checking out the ocean view and the plethora of summer boobies. Pass a guy on a tricked out Specialized triathlon bike replete with disc, trispoke, and ass bottles riding with his wife/SO at maybe 12 mph. The sartorial kicker is the full long tail aero helmet and yes, the flopping wife beater T. I pass on the left with the obligatory 'nice morning.' About 15 seconds later, he comes by and scoots ahead at the prodigious speed of maybe 18-20 rocking the bike back and forth, etc. Over a quarter mile, he gets a hundred yards ahead of me and pulls off into a driveway. Announces a triumphant 'gotcha' as I pass. This one was fairly standard fare, but the aero helmet, the 'gotcha' and the wife abandonment were above and beyond the usual. A tip of the hat from the secret racer community is in order. This one would be barely worth mentioning (like the maillot jaune tailing me for ten miles the week before) were it not for his colleagues from hell's peloton who followed.

2) Fifteen minutes after #1, riding on another stretch of the same barrier island (LBI) on a more crowded ocean road that appropriately attracts runners, skaters, vacationing families on beach cruisers, etc. I'm again just rolling around - as always, just on a 'bike walk' on this island. Pass a chubby guy on an older MTB with a child seat on the back - kid looked to be about 12-18 months. About two minutes later, I sense a shadow behind me and there's dad of the year purple in the face with his one year old on the seat about one inch off my wheel. Asshat endangering his kid for the sake of the 12 mph secret race. I couldn't help myself and gave him a stern lecture that probably went a little bit further than warranted. I was aggravated, so in addition to covering parental responsibility and the risks to him, me, and his kid of his douchiness (warranted topics), I went off on his gut and gave him what could politely be termed diet and fitness tips (unwarranted.) Kept my tone civil for the kid, who was too young to comprehend the words. Just for the record, I, um, dislike the obese.

3) This was enough for one day. The following day, I was again disinclined to ride off the island (translation: slight hangover) so off again for another 'Giro D'Isola'. The south end of LBI is heavily populated and there's a section with stop signs every 200 feet or so. Sunday mornings are busy with lots of pedestrian and car traffic for the beach, churches, restaurants, shops, etc. All very pleasant, nice Victorian seaside homes, everyone (cars, bikes, pedestrians, runners) happy, polite and mutually respectful. You basically stop, make ten pedal strokes, coast to the next stop sign, and repeat for a mile or so until the next stretch of open road. Not so for the next SR contestant. Again, overweight, huffing and puffing, in his Nashbar Sunday best rocking the ill-fitting Scattante. Accelerates ahead of me at the stops, weaving in and out of traffic startling drivers, repeatedly giving me The Look like he's Armstrong on L'Alpe D'Huez in 2001. This goes on for three or four blocks. He takes off after the next stop sign, and in the midst of the next Look, he T-bones a four year old on training wheels. The kid goes over and starts wailing. Fortunately, he had a helmet on and was pretty much unscathed. The kid's father had the first part of the lecture covered pretty well. I had no compunction in piling on, however, and 'educating' him further. Unbelievable.

That's my grump for this week. I love LBI, but the riding sucks. The bridge off and onto the island is marginally safe to ride over under the best of circumstances, but this year there's construction that makes it a death trap. I have come to accept and sometimes embrace the flat low speed spin that is the only way to ride safely here in season. I also expect that he secret race is part of the package more so than in most places. However, # 2 and #3 above are just plain unacceptable - putting kids at risk for absurdly internalized delusions of competition pissed me off to no end.

[Too Tall]

I still don't own a working time machine.

[Matthew Strongin]

Food poisoning. 24 hours of hiding in the bathroom and no riding until I can actually keep down food and water. Did I mention no riding? That's the part that really sucks.

[David Tollefson]

Bike parking at work sucks. I usually take my bike inside and keep it at an empty desk near me. Well, some one moved in. No empty desk. Yesterday I put the bike under a stairway (indoors). Some asshat stole the magnet off my front wheel. WTF?

[houston]

I have to get my tonsils removed in a few weeks. I hear it is pretty sexy when the scabs start flaking off in your throat.