What does your New Normal look like? Navigating life after 18 months in a pandemic..

Some comments in the Vaccine Thread have me thinking about just how different some folks' response to the pandemic is and has been, even within the community of the vaccinated. Specifically, how folks are weighing the acute benefit of living as safely as possible in their day-to-day life, vs. the chronic risk of living a cautious, at times boring and mostly isolated life.

I'm 42, fully vaccinated, and healthy. No kids. Work from home. My partner is the same, but has some moderate chronic health complications. We live within our means and live comfortably - in the old days this meant taking driving-distance vacations, eating out at restaurants somewhat frequently, seeing live music and other art, going to community-building happenings (yoga, meditation, art, lectures, etc.), and doing a few bike events a year. I used to travel at least monthly for work as well and could often make cycling a part of that. We'd see our immediate family that lives a few states away at least once every year or two, and our family that lives closer at least monthly, plus holidays. That all felt like a good and balanced life.

Since March 2020, all of that has gone out the window. We spent most of 2020 completely isolated, using grocery delivery services, getting take-out once a month or so, and only this year post-vax have gone back to grocery and necessities (ACE, Target, etc.) shopping in person and getting takeout 1x/wk or so. We haven't traveled beyond infrequent day-trips. We haven't eaten at a restaurant. We haven't done anything with other people beyond a singular backyard meetup with family in the post-vax, pre-Delta window this summer. I've done I think three total bike rides with another person in the last 18 months - zero group rides, zero events. I ride solo, 5-6x per week. We take walks with just the two of us and even then make an effort not to be anywhere that we'll have to come within any personal distance of anyone else. Neither of us have had haircuts, dental appointments, or anything other than a single age-determined, can't-be-avoided in-person exam. This has been our life. We've told ourselves that this is the responsible thing to do for ourselves and for society - we don't have to come in contact with others and potentially become a vector for covid transmission, so we are choosing not to. We are cutting our risk of infection to as close to zero as possible. And from a day-to-day risk mitigation perspective, that seems like the right thing to do. But is it? And at what cost?

The problem is that what was supposed to be a few month sacrifice for the good of society and to protect ourselves from getting sick has turned into a way of life that few would consider "thriving" in any traditional sense. We tell ourselves that we are fortunate to be able to make the choices we have, being able to earn a living and keep going without being forced into contact with others, and that we are still doing what is ethically right - and that if others would only do the same, maybe this could all end that much sooner. But the truth is that they aren't and it isn't. Our regional infection rates remain high and our hospitals remain full, mostly with and among unvaxxed individuals, but increasingly among vaxxed as well. Meanwhile all around us others seem to be living a life completely different than ours - they are going out to eat/drink, taking vacations, flying, seeing family, going to events and appointments, riding with groups, and seemingly only doing the minimum required by state and local mask ordinances, often just as what appears to be a performative exercise (ex. wearing a mask to enter a restaurant but then hanging out talking and eating for an hour without one on). When everyone else, at least within our demographic of somewhat progressive, non-denier folks, was sacrificing their comforts and usual fun, and staying distanced/masked to the fullest extent, it was easy to feel like we were doing what needed to be done and were members of a responsible segment of society. Now I'm not so sure. And I'm not sure how much longer we can or should keep this up. What are the chronic risks of living a life that at times feels somewhere between boring and unfulfilling, especially when you increasingly feel like you're the only one making that choice? What long-run toll is taken by missing out on experiencing life and community with your friends and loved ones who are outside your "bubble"?

I don't know anyone who wants to get covid, especially given that there are greater than winning-the-lottery chances that if you do get it you could end up with chronic issues that range from annoying to completely life-altering, or potentially bankrupting. On the other hand, making daily decisions to fully minimize your chance of getting it has both annoying and life-altering consequences.

So, how have YOU made your decisions within this whole mess of options? Do you just get vaxxed and follow the general guidelines, or go a step beyond? If the latter, how many steps beyond? If the former, how do you reconcile the exposure to certain short-run risks with long-run quality-of-life decisions? And if it has changed for you over time - why? when? and how?

Covid has increased my dislike of people.

I still went to work, we never shutdown because we were a "critical industry" facility. The pandemic started (officially) about four months into my online Masters program so I had plenty of time without any social distractions to write papers and a thesis. My son spent most of the summer of 2020 at the house, that was unexpected and kind of nice.

As the chief engineer of a big manufacturing plant, I took the lead on establishing measures to disinfect and eliminate touch points. I had the guys remove doors, build shields for temperature screening, build a wall to funnel employees past a thermal camera, search far and wide to find supplies such as bleach, paper towels, toilet paper, soap, etc, and worked long hours to help ensure the safety of employees.

People are stupid, despite making safe practices easy, people insisted on doing stupid shit like pulling their masks down to have face to face conversations. I've really stopped caring or correcting folks, they can get sick and either live or die.

Vaccines, I got mine as soon as it was available. It was Moderna with mid-March, Mid April shots. My wife got J&J in May and had a breakthrough case two weeks ago.

My wife is an artist and adjunct instructor for the local community college. She makes soap and does commission work, all from home. I can't remotely work but my plan is to use my MA to teach history in an adjunct position and quit my engineering job. I'm not interested in working closely with people, ever again.

We're building a new place in Wyoming next summer. We already have the land. Wyoming has been social distancing since it became a state. I think I'll be happy there.

We were pretty locked down from March 2020 until we both got vaccinated in March 2021. It seemed like the prudent thing to do, both for us and for society.

We don't have kids, we don't have underlying health issues, we aren't around people with major health issues, so once we were vaccinated we largely moved on. Both of our employers are requiring vaccination, and we're both back in-person at least some of the time. We wear masks when we interact with people at work and in stores, but we otherwise do our normal thing.

I think we've discovered that we don't miss restaurant food or airline travel very much. My wife no longer takes public transit, more due to safety concerns than health.

I think whether our new normal looks like the old normal mostly depends on the degree to which the city goes back to the old normal, not really Covid itself.

I go back and forth between London and NYC. I was sick early in March 2020 in London. I have been doubled jabbed.
In the beginning, always masked, gloved, glasses, hand sanitizer when in public.

Gradually relaxed to mask and hand sanitizer when indoors. When outdoors, unless crowded, I now go maskless. In UK, people rarely wear a mask on the street. In NYC, people wear more masks.

Flewback to NY after recovering in April 2020. Was basically a recluse until June. Had hard 2 week quarantine when back in US.

When indoor dining opened up in NYC with limited capacity, we did go out to eat. We generally follow guidelines.
We still avoid bars, sporting venues and other loud areas.

I have no issues flying and wear a mask per guidelines. I've done 6 long hauls and 3 domestic. No issues. long haul international is the easiest as the planes are empty. US Domestic is hell because the flights are now so crowded.

Flew out west, PCR tested after landing before going to visit 80+ yr old parents who are both unhealthy but both double jabbed. It was a little unnerving, but both parents made a decision they rather risk it after 18 mo apart. We did not wear masks. (touch wood. )

Flew to London last September 2020, when felt WFH productivity was falling and also thought some employees living alone where beginning to struggle. Opened the office for 3 shortened days a week to re-establish working relationships. I was required to quarantine for 10 days with PCR tests day 2 and day 8. This return to office was needed because after 5 weeks, the UKGOV declared a second lockdown, and I do not think the office could have made it to April 2021 without the group interaction in Sept/October of 2020.

When I flew back to NY the second time to avoid the UK lockdown, I quarantined again for 2 weeks, and then formed a riding bubble with about 8 other people for weekend rides. Not everyone could participate weekly, but everyone knew the drill. It was good to ride with people.

Returned to UK in May 2021 after double jabbed. Quarantine was reduced to PCR tests day 2 , day 5 early release, with day 8 follow up. Delta was rising, but the brits got on with it. I rode tube 3 days a week to office, work mask, glasses and hand sanitizer. Avoided people on the tube who refused to wear masks.

When covid started, I was in the middle I getting an implant. I have finished the implant procedure with the dentist after their office opened up again.

All in all, its not normal, but I am interacting with people on a daily basis. I still wear a mask indoors at department stores etc, although in the UK, I'd say >50% do not.

I cannot tell you what your level of risk should be , but I am sure you can find like minded people and form a bit of a mini-community bubble to re-enter society.
Human interaction feels good.

I also think more human interaction is important. In HG Wells 'Time Machine', post-humanity has split into two races, the Morlocks who control technology and make the planet run, and the Eloi. I do not want to become a Morlock eating Eloi.....

(For the record, Zuckerberg is a morlock)

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Originally Posted by vertical_doug

I also think more human interaction is important. In HG Wells 'Time Machine', post-humanity has split into two races, the Morlocks who control technology and make the planet run, and the Eloi. I do not want to become a Morlock eating Eloi.....

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It does feel like I'm trapped in EM Forster's "Machine" at times..

Thanks for sharing your perspective though. If we had kids or if either/both of us worked outside the home, I think we would have been forced into a different covid-lifestyle by default - my wife made the comment that if you are already in contact with others because of work or kids, you're probably less concerned about other general contact (stores, restaurants, etc.) since you've already crossed that threshold.. and that seems to make sense. I'm going to have to start traveling again for work to some extent in early 2022. Maybe that will be the catalyst to accept the new normal, and take my more IRL and interactive place in the world...

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Originally Posted by Clean39T

We tell ourselves that we are fortunate to be able to make the choices we have, being able to earn a living and keep going without being forced into contact with others, and that we are still doing what is ethically right - and that if others would only do the same, maybe this could all end that much sooner. But the truth is that they aren't and it isn't.

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If this is a roundabout way of thinking through whether you can ethically reengage with society and not be one of "those people," I think the answer is that you can. You staying in isolation isn't going to do anything to save the death cult from itself.

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Originally Posted by Clean39T

The problem is that what was supposed to be a few month sacrifice for the good of society and to protect ourselves from getting sick has turned into a way of life that few would consider "thriving" in any traditional sense. We tell ourselves that we are fortunate to be able to make the choices we have, being able to earn a living and keep going without being forced into contact with others, and that we are still doing what is ethically right - and that if others would only do the same, maybe this could all end that much sooner. But the truth is that they aren't and it isn't. Our regional infection rates remain high and our hospitals remain full, mostly with and among unvaxxed individuals, but increasingly among vaxxed as well. Meanwhile all around us others seem to be living a life completely different than ours - they are going out to eat/drink, taking vacations, flying, seeing family, going to events and appointments, riding with groups, and seemingly only doing the minimum required by state and local mask ordinances, often just as what appears to be a performative exercise (ex. wearing a mask to enter a restaurant but then hanging out talking and eating for an hour without one on). When everyone else, at least within our demographic of somewhat progressive, non-denier folks, was sacrificing their comforts and usual fun, and staying distanced/masked to the fullest extent, it was easy to feel like we were doing what needed to be done and were members of a responsible segment of society. Now I'm not so sure. And I'm not sure how much longer we can or should keep this up. What are the chronic risks of living a life that at times feels somewhere between boring and unfulfilling, especially when you increasingly feel like you're the only one making that choice? What long-run toll is taken by missing out on experiencing life and community with your friends and loved ones who are outside your "bubble"?

I don't know anyone who wants to get covid, especially given that there are greater than winning-the-lottery chances that if you do get it you could end up with chronic issues that range from annoying to completely life-altering, or potentially bankrupting. On the other hand, making daily decisions to fully minimize your chance of getting it has both annoying and life-altering consequences.

So, how have YOU made your decisions within this whole mess of options? Do you just get vaxxed and follow the general guidelines, or go a step beyond? If the latter, how many steps beyond? If the former, how do you reconcile the exposure to certain short-run risks with long-run quality-of-life decisions? And if it has changed for you over time - why? when? and how?

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I'm mostly off of Instagram (best decision in the last 2 years) but at the height of fear last summer, a friend would regularly post stories about her adherence to mitigation policies. Her brother is an Emmy winning writer and when he was finally allowed on her property he stayed in the backyard masked while she and her kids waved at him from behind their sliding glass family room door. At the time she regularly posted all the mask memes and confided that she was ready to isolate for two years (based on her research). Her mom is an elderly school teacher and her husband lost two employees to Covid-19 early in the Pandemic. Understandably, in her sphere there was very little room for "nuance." Well, since she and her husband have been vaccinated, they and their two young children have taken at least 10 vacations, 2 internationally. Now none of her stories reference coronavirus and it's back to meals with 2 to 6 girlfriends (food porn!) nightly at trendy restaurants. It's somewhat unnerving. In terms of age and physiology, I'd expect her to exercise more caution. But she may be part of a class that believes they should be able to enthusiastically reward themselves for their year plus sacrifice. I mean, I get it.

A few things:

COVID has really ramped up the divide in this country vice all of us pulling together (like other some other countries are doing). It really makes me sad and I don't see a solution. Politicians (esp the Trump boot lickers imho) are more interested in a power grab vice the good of the country. oh well off my soapbox 'cuz I don't see a near term solution. I feel bad for my kids and grand-kids inheriting this mess.

My wife and I help out by watching the grand-kids (we have 4 (ages 10, 6, 5, 2.5)). So we are try to be extra vigilant since we are in contact with the kids every week. That means no dining in restaurants (last meal I had in a restaurants was Feb 2020 celebrating my 60th). We both got the J&J and are hopeful a booster will be soon. Always wear a mask when indoors (stores etc), hand sanitizer etc. We've accepted as the new normal since the vax rate in this country is embarrassing. A sad off shoot of this is when the kids get the sniffles (which happens because they are back in school and well, kids get sick!) their parents overreact and immediately call for COVID testing. That means days out of school until you get the test result - or running around to every pharmacy in a 20 mile radius looking for an at home test kit. sigh.

Fortunately i retired in May of 2020 so work is not an issue (and retirement is better than I anticipated).

Hmmm what else - I stopped watching the nightly news.

On the bright side Cyclocross season is underway in New England and I enjoy getting my ass handed to me by a bunch of vaccinated 60+ racers.

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Originally Posted by caleb

If this is a roundabout way of thinking through whether you can ethically reengage with society and not be one of "those people," I think the answer is that you can. You staying in isolation isn't going to do anything to save the death cult from itself.

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It is. I've talked this to death with my partner and need other perspectives. I like the sample size and intelligent opinions that are shared here..

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Originally Posted by beeatnik

I'm mostly off of Instagram (best decision in the last 2 years).

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Instagram definitely fuels the "hey everybody else is having fun why not me?" feelings - but.. it also gives me something to look forward to when I'm ready and able - rides, places, events, etc. - plus, bike pr0n.

Slowly getting back to normal. The big step this month was getting the kids back in school full time in person. Huge relief to have them back to participation in school. Travel is still way down from what it should be but coming back. I've now flown to SFO and SEA, and it really sucks. 777's completely filled, masks the whole time is cumbersome and uncomfortable but it is what it is for now. I will say the airports and airplanes are cleaner than I have ever seen them and that's nice.

Back to indoor dining and outdoor activities. Hey, we're going to LegoLand NY this week! I'll wear a mask if a store requires it or in large crowded stores like Home Depot or Lowes, but small delis, local coffee shop, etc - no mask. Here in the NYC burbs mask wearing is way down in general. Starting to look a little more normal out there.

One thing is for sure and is here to stay for a while: the hair on the back of your neck goes straight up and the pucker factor goes to 100 when you're in a public setting and you hear someone with a bad cough go at it. yikes.

I've shared elsewhere on the forum regarding this topic, but I'll play a bit here.

My wife and I had already been planning to move to the US from France when the pandemic began. We had already bought property in Oregon and I had already taken a remote job working for a pharmaceutical company while living in France, somewhere around October/November 2019. We had planned to move on April 20th (because we had no real time-restrictions and that seemed like an apropos/funny date given my history as a scientist working on cannabis research). When the pandemic accelerated in Europe our friends/family in the US were certain that we needed to GTFO because Asia and EU were going to get slammed while the US would be safe. We woke up in the second week of March, already a few weeks into the strict French quarantine, to a message from the US Government with a Level 3 Travel Advisory, saying in relatively certain terms that those who did not enter the US in the immediate future should expect to "remain abroad indefinitely." We hustled, as flights were getting cancelled by the minute, to get ourselves on an airplane towards our new home. We packed our belongings amassed over the previous 5 years in Marseille into two duffel bags, shipped two bikes, and gave the rest away. We left France on March 28th, 2020. After 4 flights across 48 hours and a 3 hour drive from Portland, we arrived roughly in the vicinity of our new abode Oregon just as the first days of the official lockdown settled in. Aside from a scalding shower scrub in an airport hotel, neither of us removed our masks or gloves from the moment we left our home in Marseille until April 1st, when we received the keys to our home.

Prior to leaving France, I was assigned to work on developing the COVID treatment currently being researched by the company I work for. Since then, roughly late February 2020, I've spent nearly every day reading and writing about COVID. I know far more than I'd like to, and only recently have stopped spending a mid-day hour on the couch choking down tears. I have been consistently horrified by what I have seen, and have lost a great deal of my faith in humanity. It has radically altered my philosophical, political, and moral/ethical compasses. I hardly recognize the mindstates I found normal a mere few years ago.

From a practical perspective, aside from some early, risky-but-necessary shopping to establish ourselves in a new home having arrived with only what we could carry on an airplane (and bikes!), we do not leave but twice a month. 18 months on we are now providing ourselves with the majority of our own food through farming and only buy things we haven't been able to grow, like cooking oil. We've met only a couple people from our area and, given the political environment, have just operated under the assumption that no one is vaccinated. We trade produce with a couple up the road about a mile and meet down by the creek to exchange. Other than that, we don't go out. I ride my bike or run nearly every day, and can usually do so without seeing more than one or two cars and a logging truck. I haven't been in a situation where I've had to interact with anyone other than the county sheriff on a single occasion.

Priorities and personal values have taken a significant spin. I lost a very close friend because I would not fly across the country in July for his destination wedding of 100 people in Martha's Vineyard. My family has continued to travel on a monthly basis throughout the pandemic and I have been largely shunned for not joining. I haven't seen my parents in two years and haven't seen my siblings for even longer. I don't know when I will see them again. I've realized how little I care for restaurants, movie theaters, and travel. I miss a really good shot of espresso, but that's about it. Our exodus from France, basically a three-week panic attack in which I spent my days working for my French lab trying to finish up experiments and spent nights reading and writing about COVID for my new job remotely, checking the news for situation updates on a nearly real-time basis, sleeping only occasionally, left me scarred. The thought of getting on an airplane again gives me cold sweats and makes me feel mildly nauseous. My brother is getting married next year and I don't know if I'll be able to muster the courage to travel for it. I've essentially resigned myself to a reclusive life. But (and this is a big but) I've always been on the reclusive side and always desired an isolated life, well before the pandemic. I spent most of my youth alone in the woods, and never feel quite right if I don't spend several hours by myself every morning. I don't really enjoy social interactions, and I couldn't possibly care less about the newest restaurant trend. I really don't miss my old life, except that it didn't involve delving into the daily horror. I break up my day between writing for work, farm labor, and spending time outdoors alone. If this is my new normal, the only thing I would change is to perhaps be assigned to a different project down the line.

I know that's not very helpful, as we live in different situations. You have gone above and beyond for risk mitigation and I do believe, with the caveat that this is only my personal perspective, that if you feel your life has suffered detriment (you mention being far from "thriving") that you would not be a fool to reenter your social life to some degree. Would I suggest that you keep up with the news, mask and distance when possible, and make every outing a rational risk-assessed decision? Yes. But as you mention, life is full of risk/reward balance. If going to a restaurant would bring significant joy to your life, then perhaps it is worth a small risk. I no longer believe that one is morally obligated to participate in unspoken social contracts of fairness - if people around you continue to eschew what I consider rational risk mitigation measures, you're not beholden to them to disadvantage yourself or suffer for their well being. Make your choices and live your life. But take stock of the last 18 months and consider what you have really, truly missed, and what perhaps you feel you should have missed.

Wow. Just wow.

No choice for me working in the ED I have been around the rona since it started. Got the vaccine as soon as it was available last Dec. The Delta is worse more people on vents and the ICU is full. I live my life pretty much the same as ever. Go where I want, eat where I want, and ride as needed. If I lived the isolated life (which is not possible in my current career) I would be even more crazy and see The Shining as my future. That might be a joke. You only live once. And g_d bless the choices we have to do what we believe is correct. And if I'm taken from this life as a result well I should have been dead a zillion times in my youth so it's been a good run. There but for the grace of g_d go i.

*Mr. Williams it would have been nice to see. you in Bend. That coffee shop was unforgettable. I guess I understand why you went ghost.

**Have never had it. Gave blood a few times and that showed antibodies present. The Mrs has not either.

I flew my last commercial flight on September 1, 2020 and have been a traveling bum since. I limit my exposure to family and friends I know practice the same good judgment I do: double masking in closed spaces and vaccinated. But I’m not afraid of most outdoor spaces. I have been to Florida 4 or 5 times in the past year and lived to tell about it. Been to Michigan a bunch of times to ride, including with a couple of doctors who are very risk-aware and think outdoor rides are OK. Rode RAGBRAI with several thousand of my closest friends. Lived to talk about it. Spent three weeks in Europe including both flights. Fully masked and took my 84-year old mother with me.

My company needs me back and I’m headed to Dallas for re-qualification training a week from today. My industry is full of hesitant people and the minute I’m eligible for a Moderna booster I’ll be getting it because we don’t wear masks in seats 0A and 0B (they interfere with communication and emergency equipment for real) and I know I’ll be working with unvaccinated people. It’s not being mandated at my company but there are some sweet carrots and heavy sticks in place. It goes without saying that I’m vaccinated and my employer strongly recommends this for all its employees.

My new norm is going to be back to the crowded salt mines. People, please behave at the airports and in the airplanes. Sadly, it’s the .01% who are making life difficult for the 99.99% who make it work. Be your best and be who your parents and grandparents would be proud of. Don’t be “that guy.”

My brother and I have tickets to a football game at Lambeau Field on October 24 and have some assessment to do. That’s an outdoor activity that may yet go by the wayside.

I live alone and have had the luxury of being an introverted hermit for the past 18 months. I turn on the smile at work and the virtual smile here but I’m actually happier alone most of the time and never has that been better than during a pandemic.

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Originally Posted by Clyde

*Mr. Williams it would have been nice to see. you in Bend. That coffee shop was unforgettable. I guess I understand why you went ghost.

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That was just unfortunate timing, nothing intentional - smokey skies when I had free time and then an overloaded work schedule - I'm one of those who either has six hour days or twelve hour days, with not much in between.. or advanced warning. Makes planning difficult - but also allows some nice afternoon rides, like today, when things align..

Just tonight I went through the risk-reward considerations with my wife about going back into the office more often. I don't really need to, but it would facilitate better relationships with those on my team who do have to. My problem is I worry that I'll be the vector. My wife is doing high-risk procedures about every other day and my son is fully back to a school where half the student population cannot get vaccinated.* But maybe that's just rationalizing the comfort I have here at home? I do really miss my commute and while I am able to do more invisible labor around the house, I'm working far longer hours than ever before.

Otherwise I'm all over the place. I double mask everywhere indoors. But that includes a daily trip to the gym where I work out alone in the corner, distanced from the dozen or so others who arrive at 5, but don't wear masks. I've only been inside a single restaurant, pre-Delta this summer. But I sat on an international flight in August for a vacation that was 100% outdoors and remote. We agonize over every decision through a risk-based matrix that makes sense when we're making it, but over time seems wildly erratic because of the additional overlay of values. Sure, we took the risk on the flight to enable a value-laden vacation, but no, we're not going to drive to the wedding reception, in a bar, with unvaxed family, whose view of society we do not share.

What I miss and hope we can arrive at is a common, community articulation of mutual obligation, and a language for negotiating it. Right now all of this seems so haphazardly individual, even when we're all making decisions with clear communal implications.


*Amazingly, they are reporting that 100% of those eligible, teachers and students, have been vaccinated. There are sensible parts of the world, still, it seems.

Our new normal is continuous household-level risk assessment that can change week to week. It is nerve wracking and exhausting.

We’re vaxxed but our kids are not old enough yet and one of them may be immunocompromised so we’re always careful.

We snuck in a trip to Ireland to see the grandparents in June, when it felt like things were getting better. But also scotched a reunion of my family and siblings a month later as Delta was gaining speed and certain counter parties would not agree to not eating indoors unmasked in restaurants for a few days ahead of our trip.
(Guess who was the bad guy that weekend?)

My wife and I have had two nights out (outdoors with trusted friends) in 18 months, but we as a family went to our neighborhood pool all summer. A couple trips to the Outer Banks and Shenandoah, renting a house and bringing our food. Who can tell if we’ve been smart or lucky…

Now the kids are back in school, fingers crossed, and each day begins and ends with a plea/hope that kids vaccines are approved soon and the various emerging employee mandates continue to make a dent in the adults who are too stubborn or stupid not to have gotten it by now.

My wife won't get vaccinated. She plans on wearing a mask forever. We have not lived together since March 2020, and I have never been happier. Once I was vaccinated, May 2020, I took a plane to California, intending to stay two weeks. I stayed two months, then drove back to MA with my son. Petaluma to Mono Lake the first day, then straight across without stopping. He had a book of Bartlett's Quotations he'd read and we'd discuss. Wonderful. I just spent six weeks working in Yamhill, Oregon, ten to twelve hours a day. Now I am back sleeping in a tent in a field as I did when I first moved out. I have no idea what the future looks like.

I count my blessings.

Our trajectory has been from total isolation to the risk evaluations mentioned above. When the whole thing broke I was starting radiation treatment for larynx cancer so Karen and I pretty much isolated from each other in the house - no way was I tromping into an oncology practice spraying virus around. Our pod of four, my 89 year old mother-in-law and my brother in law that is responsible to keep HVAC and the like working in the big regional hospital didn't see each other for a while. Until we got vaccinated, it was a once a week trip to the grocery and that was it. After getting vaccinated we felt a little more confidence but it is totally situational. I mask at the grocery and if I need to go to the pharmacy. We go out to restaurants but avoid peak times. We've been to music events but have bagged ones where we had tickets but didn't like how they were setting things up. Right now I'm leaning on the vaccine to blunt the effects if I do catch something. It kind of reminds me of something my doctor said when he was seeing me after I got hit by a car again out riding my bike. "Well, you have to live your life." The difference here is I need to make sure I take steps not to get anybody else sick. That's the main thing. I almost started laughing out loud last night at a community meeting with the mayor and city staff about how to spend Covid relief money and he said "It isn't the President that tells you or the Governor that tells you or the Mayor that tells you but it was your mother when you were five years old that told you. Wash your hands, cover your mouth when you sneeze... and do unto others. Get vaccinated and wear a mask, I'm sure she would say." Yup. I could absolutely hear her voice.

There is a distinct difference between how we started in March 2020 and where we are now. Initially, we pulled back very far in terms of socializing, shopping, restaurants, etc etc. As we have seen more data and advisory from the scientific community, CDC, etc we have changed as it seems appropriate. At this point, we are still fairly careful about indoor environments and close quarters outside. When around others, we use a guiding rule: Distance, Mask, Outside … Pick 2.

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Originally Posted by Clean39T

It does feel like I'm trapped in EM Forster's "Machine" at times..

Thanks for sharing your perspective though. If we had kids or if either/both of us worked outside the home, I think we would have been forced into a different covid-lifestyle by default - my wife made the comment that if you are already in contact with others because of work or kids, you're probably less concerned about other general contact (stores, restaurants, etc.) since you've already crossed that threshold.. and that seems to make sense. I'm going to have to start traveling again for work to some extent in early 2022. Maybe that will be the catalyst to accept the new normal, and take my more IRL and interactive place in the world...

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For me it's the opposite. My wife works with the general public in person almost daily (she's as careful as possible and they have a mask requirement to enter their store). My son goes to school in person; virtual isn't an option for him though I would send him back anyway for the social interaction at this point. Masks are required. I figure that between the opportunities for infection between her work and his school we don't need to expose ourselves any more. No restaurants. No indoor gatherings. Limited anything indoors, including doctors or other appointments. Nobody in our home unless urgent (like when our fridge started spewing water). We've crossed the threshold, but that doesn't mean we want to spend all our time on the other side.

Also, fwiw, I do ride with others, but generally limit who where possible. If i lived somewhere more remote I'd probably be riding solo, but the bike lanes of Miami are packed so there is literally no avoiding riding around others unless I only ride places that aren't safe.

We assess each situation as it comes. Masks, gloves, alcohol pads are always in the tote bag. If a restaurant looks too crowded we'll go somewhere else.
As always in NYC, you have to look out for yourself.
We helped out our elderly neighbors during the Pandemic with grocery shopping. The idiots in our building we avoided and continue to do so. Some of them got sick. Some never returned.
I stopped road riding here pre Pandemic as I was getting tired of being treated like shit. Considering the lack of law and order here now I won't be returning.
I miss the gym but I won't be going back there either.
The city was wonderful when it was abandoned. Now not so much.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by johnmdesigner

Considering the lack of law and order here now I won't be returning.

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This is another unfortunate wrinkle in the post-pandemic timeline.. I have been paying attention to it specifically for Portland, OR - and none of it is good. Gun violence, drug crime, domestic violence, vagrancy, etc. The social fabric is certainly fraying - here, there, and everywhere. It's like basic policing has been given up on, or there's not enough to go around. Of course some will blame the police-reform activists - and maybe there's an aspect of that impacting morale among those who probably shouldn't have a badge in the first place - but as far as I'm aware, we're still paying police officers to be police officers and uphold the law equally, it just seems some aren't willing to do their job anymore or at least not in the way that used to be the norm.. or maybe their ranks have just been thinned by covid. Dunno. Whatever it is, the consequences for civil society are snowballing.

The police only show up here when Billy Elish and JLow need protection in Central Park.
The number of goons who then show up with brand new AR-15's is astounding.
I'm not anti-police but when you sit in your SUV with the tinted windows rolled up looking at your Instagram while people are running red lights right in front of you it indicates to me that you are not fit for the job. No wonder that no one obeys the law.

I have to travel an hour to see specialists for my health issues. My latest issue requires a bone scan and I've asked that it not be done in the regional medical center. The place is overrun with Covid cases, I don't want to be in the building. I may have to drive two hours to Vegas or Flagstaff. The center console of my car has a stack of disposable masks in both black and white. I like the black ones more, I need to pick some up. I have an appointment today and I'm pretty stoked because it is a few blocks away from a Target. In the middle of the day, the place is pretty empty. For the most part, Target clientele follow CDC guidance, but this is still Arizona. I'll buy enough tea bags to fill up a shelf with a nice variety and get my OTC meds for at least 90 days.

I was always a person to stay away from crowds, I've really found my place in society now.

Happy to report LA is surprisingly stable. Although homicides are up, they're nowhere near the all time highs.

https://abc7.com/los-angeles-crime-p...ides/10012319/

"Property crime down double digits - 11.1%. Violent crime down 3%, robberies down 17%. Part 1 crime, which includes sexual assault, burglary and auto theft is down 9.2% and this is the third year in a row that we've seen decreases in those categories," said Los Angeles Mayor Eric Garcetti.

Garcetti said 2020 was also about learning to not put everything on the shoulders of police officers, while achieving reforms in the LAPD to change the way we police following the death of George Floyd.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Clean39T

This is another unfortunate wrinkle in the post-pandemic timeline.. I have been paying attention to it specifically for Portland, OR - and none of it is good. Gun violence, drug crime, domestic violence, vagrancy, etc. The social fabric is certainly fraying - here, there, and everywhere. It's like basic policing has been given up on, or there's not enough to go around. Of course some will blame the police-reform activists - and maybe there's an aspect of that impacting morale among those who probably shouldn't have a badge in the first place - but as far as I'm aware, we're still paying police officers to be police officers and uphold the law equally, it just seems some aren't willing to do their job anymore or at least not in the way that used to be the norm.. or maybe their ranks have just been thinned by covid. Dunno. Whatever it is, the consequences for civil society are snowballing.

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Houses are selling for cheap on the island of La Palma right now so there's that.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by johnmdesigner

No wonder that no one obeys the law.

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To bring this back to "what's your new normal.." - mine is going to be avoiding certain parts of the city (both on the bike and just in general) and keeping my head on a swivel. I don't think it will be like this forever. I hope I'm not wrong.

The pandemic hit when I was already getting pretty jaded about bike racing. I had gone in pretty hard on the amatuer bike racer thing for about a decade. I wasn't seeing fitness improvements anymore and the act of racing was getting less and less engaging, so was all the race related travel. The suspension of racing and group rides forced me to re-evaluate what i put an emphasis on in my personal life. As a result I started exploring other hobbies and put more emphasis on my career. So the positive changes I made:

- I rediscovered how much I like riding my mountain bike. I picked up a new FS bike at the beginning of the year and put in a ton of miles. I really feel like I progressed my skills this year.
- I picked up my guitar for the first time in a decade. I'm still not good but it's been really nice to indulge an old hobby.
- I got a dog. I live alone and the lack of socialization was getting to me. Going for trail runs with him is about my favorite thing in the world now.
- I started doing more than just enough to get by at work. I've been mentoring new team members. I got a big promotion this summer.

In terms of how my lifestyle has changed as a whole, I've never been big on a lot of socialization so I'm pretty comfortable with my current status. I don't do any dine in at restaurants or spend any time at bars but I didn't do that much before the pandemic.

Going mostly remote for work has been good. I like not having a daily commute. I like having the additional flexibility to get stuff done in the middle of the day. I don't like the increase in formal meetings. Since we can't reliably find each other at our desks people feel the need to schedule formal meetings to cover those same quick touch base items.

This summer my work made the decision that they want us to come into the office two days a week but we get to choose the days. It's not so bad though I really don't want it to increase beyond this.

I'm vaccinated and still wearing a mask when I go into stores. In my county it's pretty normal behavior to be masked up but I'm seeing more and more people start to get out of the habit.

Perhaps the prolonged isolation has influenced new product development.