The Joke Thread

[PaMtbRider]

I've got some racing geese for sale. Anyone want a quick gander?

[aingeru]

shrink: " am gonna show you drawings and you tell me what you see"
patient: "ok"
shrink shows drawing of a circle...
shrink: "what do you see here?"
patient: " a pussy"
shrink shows drawing of a square...
shrink: "what do you see here?"
patient: " a pussy"
shrink shows drawing of a triangle...
shrink: "what do you see here?"
patient: " a pussy"
shrink: " I am afraid you are sexually obsessed..."
patient: " me !!!??? YOU are showing them to me !!!

[Too Tall]

For Dan:

What is purple and goes "Bam Bam Bam Bam"?

Four door grape.

[Bob Ross]

What is purple and goes "Bam Bam Bam Bam"?

Four door grape.

For some reason that reminded me of this series of elephant jokes that I learned in elementary school:

Q: Why do elephants paint their toenails red?
A: So they can hide in cherry trees.

Q: Why is it dangerous to go into the jungle between 4:00 and 5:00PM?
A: That's when the elephants jump out of the cherry trees.

Q: Why are Pygmies so short?
A: They went into the jungle between 4:00 and 5:00PM.

[Too Tall]

Bob, there is a family of seven next door included 5 children. These jokes are daily reminders to take it lightly.

PS Folks, needed reminder we are family fiendly'ish. Keep it reasonable.

[LarryA]

Rabbi goes golfing on Yom Kippur. God determines to punish him. Causes him to get a hole in one. Angel says, shocked, 'How is that a punishment?' God replies, 'Who can he tell?'

[Too Tall]

Rabbi goes golfing on Yom Kippur. God determines to punish him. Causes him to get a hole in one. Angel says, shocked, 'How is that a punishment?' God replies, 'Who can he tell?'

mawwwwwaaaa hahahaha. On point.

[AngryScientist]

Who stays out all night on St. Patrick's Day?

Paddy O Furniture

[jmgorman]

A priest, a pastor and a rabbit walked in to blood donation clinic.
The nursed asked the rabbit: "What is your blood type?"

"I am probably a type O" said the rabbit.

[hampco]

This one is visual, sorry

Click on the link, scroll though the four photos, the punchline is "shitchen"

Enjoy:

https://twitter.com/zillowgonewild/s...103170/photo/1

[kdawg]

Took me a minute but then I actually did laugh out loud.

Edit: the rabbit one I meant.

[SlowPokePete]

This one is visual, sorry

Click on the link, scroll though the four photos, the punchline is "shitchen"

Enjoy:

https://twitter.com/zillowgonewild/s...103170/photo/1

The days of multi-tasking are upon us.

Long Island is a funny place (my dad grew up in Blue Point).

SPP

[AngryScientist]

Did you guys hear about that pony with a sore throat?

...

He was a little hoarse.