VELOCIPEDIA - Modern Cycling Vernacular (Read this first)

[Too Tall]

Velocipedia - a brief somewhat cynical modern *cycling vernacular reference. *Not to be confused with actual english.

1. To add new definitions, phrases, words follow these simple steps
a. reply to this thread
b. change the title using only your new word, phrase, definition etc.
c. please add "tags" in order to infect the unwashed masses with our sick humor. World domination is infact our aim.

TIA, Too Tall

[Too Tall]

Pickup-Peloton

Velocipedia Definition:

I’m a friendly guy. I say “hi” to people. I might even say “hi” to you, and perhaps smile, genuinely, when I pass you. But I’m not trying to make new friends or get a “pick-up peloton” going

Useage:
"Excuse me young person, I'm just riding bikes with my terminally ill mother in law today this isn't a PICK-UP-PELOTON".

Origin: Cary Ford

[Too Tall]

Path-lete

Velocipedia Definition

Just because I'm fat right now and my legs are hairy and I'm riding the small ring on the flats of the bike path with a tail wind doesn't mean I'm easy pickings for you and your brand new Astana jersey.

When I pass you, don't take it personally. My ride doesn't have anything to do with you and your new Cervelo.

It just means I'm riding faster than you even when I'm riding slow.

And PLEASE please don't take it as an invitation to join my ride. Don't speed up suddenly when I pass. You think you're stealthy, but I can hear your chain rubbing the front derailleur cage. I can hear your breath coming in fits and starts when you "sneak" up on me like that.

When you come up on me quickly, don't take that as an indication that you're fit. That you can go fast. It's best to just go back to where you were and enjoy the rest of your ride. Really.

But if you’re "on fire" and feeling good and decide to come around me, please commit. If you're going to go faster, then you need to go. Faster. I don't want to be on your wheel. It's not "your turn at the front." I'm not going to "pull through" when you stick your elbow out. I'm not watching you point out "obstacles" from 20 meters in front of me.

I’m riding alone. I’m a pack of one.

That also means I'm not racing you. I quit racing 6 years ago.

So when you start to feel that burn a minute to two after you pass me and you decide not to do the smart thing and simply coast to the side of the path, dismount and call your girlfriend or wife to come pick you up, you need to keep your head down. If you’re going to pass me and stay away, then you need to learn a fundamental rule – when it starts to burn, go harder.

Because if you don't (well, let's be honest, even if you do) when you hit that "hill" in front of us, you're going to see me again. I’ll be the guy rolling past you like you're standing still. I won’t be “trading pulls” with you. I will be dropping you like a palette of bricks without even lifting my tempo or heart rate. Without even breaking a sweat.

And then you'll never see me again.

I’m a friendly guy. I say “hi” to people. I might even say “hi” to you, and perhaps smile, genuinely, when I pass you. But I’m not trying to make new friends or get a “pick-up peloton” going.

So just stay behind me. Ride at your own pace. When I come by you, don't be fooled by the pasty white skin of my calves. The bulge in my middle. The schmear of SPF 70 on my nose. The three day growth of beard on my face. My “Pabst Blue Ribbon” socks or the pot smoke on my breath.

I may look like just another fat dude looking to make friends or mix it up on the path.

But I’m not.

Because I'm on the FUCKING BIKE PATH.

So leave me alone.

Useage -
"Jayzus it is not easy coming back from hernia surgery and curing a dose at the same time. Wouldn't you know it? I'm riding on the strand and some moron PATHLETE chops my front wheel than yells at me".

Origin: Cary Ford

[Too Tall]

Wheel sucking scum.

[Too Tall]

the ATMO thread

atmo 91 up, 11 down
buy atmo mugs, tshirts and magnets
Acronym for "according to my opinion."

Most commonly used as a tongue-in-cheek substitute for IMO/IMHO, but its use is not limited to this application. Can serve to punctuate or seal a thought, even in cases where IMHO may be unwieldy or inappropriate.

Popularized by American bicycle maker Richard Sachs.
"To surpass the master is to repay the debt atmo."
cheers - Fixed